"Business etiquette": How to communicate with business partners. Basic rules of etiquette in society

The rules of etiquette in society are the ability to behave in all situations in which a person can find himself. IN modern world it is extremely important to know them, to have good manners in order to be pleased with yourself and others, to treat all people with respect, affability, benevolence, naturally. So that any, even the best elite society, willingly accepts you into its ranks.

Interpretation of the term

Etiquette in modern society- a list of generally accepted rules that relate to human behavior in relation to other people in certain life situations.

There are several main types of such rules.

1. The ability to present oneself - the rules for the formation of a wardrobe, appearance, self-care, physical form and posture, gait, postures, gestures.
2. Speech etiquette - the ability to correctly say greetings, compliments, thanks, give remarks; farewell rules, politeness,
3. Table etiquette - table manners, serving standards, eating habits.
4. Rules of etiquette in society - how to behave in a museum, at an exhibition, in a theater, restaurant, court, library, shop, office, etc.
5. Business etiquette - relationships with colleagues, superiors, good business manners, leadership skills, etc.

Ability to present yourself

Good manners, the rules of etiquette, the ability to be a kind person - all this requires not only skills, but also knowledge in these areas. Modern man should know how to behave in any circumstances, be able to behave accordingly, be amiable, friendly and self-confident.

Etiquette in clothes

The first impression is the strongest and most memorable, and in addition, the mind is manifested in the choice of clothing for the occasion. To make a good impression, it is not enough to be fashionable or expensively dressed. If you want to please others, you must reckon with them and take into account different circumstances. Therefore, even in the formation of a wardrobe, it is customary to observe the rules of etiquette in society. It is important that the clothes are beautiful and fit you, but it is much more important that all the details appearance organically combined with each other, and he himself corresponded to the time, place and situation. It is not customary to wear evening dresses during the day, and to wear leisure clothes to work. Each time, choosing what to wear, you must take into account the situation, the appropriate occasion, time, place, do not forget about your own age, body features. Everything you wear should always be clean, hemmed, buttoned and ironed. The exit attire should always be in full readiness. When shaping your wardrobe, remember to include must-have items such as suits, tailored trousers and skirts, blouses and evening wear, and home kits.

Personal care

Good manners imply the obligatory observance of cleanliness of clothes, proper nutrition and healthy lifestyle. It is unacceptable to appear in society unkempt. At the same time, it is important to monitor the appearance in the complex, carefully removing the hair, going out into the "light". These are mandatory rules of etiquette and behavior for a girl, as well as for a man.

Good manners in society

The ability to present oneself begins with gait, posture, gestures, postures, manners of sitting and sitting. The rules of etiquette in society require a beautiful gait with a straight posture, when the arms do not move widely in the rhythm of the step, the shoulders are straightened, the stomach is tucked up. You can not lift your head high, but you should not walk with your head down. Equally important are postures and gestures. To make a good impression, you need to act simply and naturally. It is considered bad manners to turn something in your hands, twist your hair around your finger, drum your fingers on the table, stamp your feet to the beat of the music, touch any parts of your body with your hands, pull on someone else's clothes. As for the question of how to sit correctly, it is important to know only two rules here: do not cross your legs and do not fall apart, spreading your legs and arms to the sides.

Speech etiquette

Polite words are special formulas in which a large amount of information is encrypted, both semantic and emotional. It is necessary to know them by heart, to be able to choose the most appropriate for the occasion and pronounce them in the appropriate tone in time. Masterly, correct possession of these words is speech etiquette in modern society.

1. Greeting

When choosing a form of greeting, put enough meaning and feeling into the words. For example, you would not be very delicate when you say “good afternoon” to a person whose face shows that he is upset about something. Or it’s completely unacceptable to say hello to the boss, except in cases of personal friendship. Be attentive to words and people - when greeting them, call them by name or by name and patronymic. Men must accompany each other with a handshake. When meeting with a lady, a gallant gentleman kisses her hand, while he should not pull her towards him, but should bend as far as the woman gave her hand.

2. Appeal, presentation

Which of the appeals is preferable, you have to decide in each case, depending on the audience you are addressing. It is customary to address acquaintances by name or by name and patronymic, the second is considered a manifestation of greater respect. In a formal setting, when introducing anyone, state the first and last name. And addressing by patronymic, for example, Ivanovna, is permissible only in the village, but not in secular society.

3. Requests

The word "please" is really magical, it must be heard in all requests. Since the request in one way or another burdens the person to whom you are addressing, in some cases it is worth adding: “If it’s not difficult for you”, “Is it not difficult for you?” It is also appropriate to say: "Do me a favor, be kind, could you," etc.

4. Farewell

Before you say goodbye, you should prepare the interlocutor for parting: "It's already late", "Unfortunately, I have to go." It is then customary to express satisfaction with the time spent together, such as "I'm glad we met." The next stage of farewell is words of gratitude. Sometimes you can say a compliment to the mistress of the house, say goodbye and immediately leave without delay.

In addition, the rules of etiquette in society require the ability to invite, apologize, console, express condolences, gratitude. Each of these forms of address should sound natural, sincere, excluding rude and harsh phrases and phrases.

Table etiquette

Eating beautifully is just as important as moving and speaking well, but it is here that one must especially observe the measure.

• No need to try to deliberately embellish the process of eating, for example, eat in very small pieces, set aside bent fingers. It is enough not to open your mouth while chewing, not to talk with your mouth full, to chew food thoroughly before putting another portion in your mouth.
• Never drink until you have swallowed the food, unless you have taken hot food in your mouth unexpectedly. If you see that the food is hot, do not blow on it before you start eating.
• Try to eat and drink absolutely silently.
• In society, bread is eaten not by biting off the whole piece, but by breaking off pieces from it.
• Salt from an open salt shaker, if there is no special spoon in it, is supposed to be taken with the end of a clean knife, after pouring it on the edge of your plate.
• Ketchup or mustard as a condiment is offered only in the most casual atmosphere.
• When eating, try not to stain your plate as much as possible, do not stir or smear food on it.
• Never, even at home, eat with your hands. It is customary to hold the fork in the left hand, and the knife in the right. If you are eating a salad, then you can take the fork with your right hand.
• If you want to drink or take a break from eating, then you need to leave the fork and knife in a crosswise or "house" position.
• The spoon is always taken with the right hand, if you eat from a soup bowl, the spoon is left there after eating, not laid out on the table.
• At the end of the meal and before drinking, it is customary to use a napkin.

Etiquette: rules of conduct in society and public places

In public places, there are some specific rules of good taste, which are extremely important to observe.

1. In a museum, at an exhibition, a vernissage

The rules of conduct in these "temples" of art all over the world are the same and extremely simple: walk through the halls quietly, speak in a hushed tone, do not touch anything with your hands, do not get too close to the paintings and exhibits so as not to disturb other visitors.

2. In the theater, philharmonic, concert hall

Modern rules of good manners are somewhat contradictory. Earlier in such public places a man was supposed to invite ladies, today it is considered quite decent if a girl herself invites him to a performance, a concert. And even if it is she who pays for tickets for two. A well-bred man should play the role of a gallant gentleman, courting a lady everywhere. It is important to arrive on time, undress calmly, take a seat without disturbing anyone. People with impeccable upbringing should not chew anything while watching.

3. In court, church, clinic, library

The rules of etiquette and good manners in society urge you to behave in these places as quietly and inconspicuously as possible. You can not talk, rustle, chew and walk without special need. Questions and inquiries should be answered politely and in a low voice.

In any establishment, it is important to maintain good manners, to be accommodating, tactful and polite. Most importantly, your stay should not cause discomfort to any of those present.

Business Etiquette

Good manners at work are a must for every employee. What points are affected Business Etiquette? Easy rules will help to understand this issue.

• Compliance with subordination with colleagues and superiors.
• Timely arrival at work and prompt performance of their duties.
• Polite communication with both colleagues and visitors.
• Privacy at work.
• Appropriate clothing for the institution you work for.
• Lack of personal topics in discussions.
• Maintain order in your workplace.
• by phone.

Rules in society help to achieve the goals assigned in business. Thanks to good manners, you can move up the corporate ladder and be a successful self-fulfilling person in everything.

To be a pleasant person in any situation, to want to do business with you, you need to perfectly know the laws of behavior in society. They will help not only achieve any goals, but also become a self-confident and happy person.

About the book

If you understand the language of etiquette, recognize the non-verbal cues addressed to you, and know how to respond to them, then you are in the game. Good elevator entry manners can take you to the top of your career. And knowing who climbs the office ladder first can be a stepping stone to business success. Someone will argue that this is a trifle. But "from the little things perfection is made, and perfection is not ...

Read completely

About the book
Etiquette is not boring ceremonies and rituals, it is communication.

We meet a lot of people every day - for morning coffee and in the office, in a restaurant and on an airplane, during conferences, seminars and various events, on the stairs and in the elevator.

Knowing good manners will help you make professional and personal relationships more harmonious and meaningful, effectively build business relationships, make useful contacts, establish long-term relationships and enjoy communicating with a wide variety of people.

If you understand the language of etiquette, recognize the non-verbal cues addressed to you, and know how to respond to them, then you are in the game. Good elevator entry manners can take you to the top of your career. And knowing who climbs the office ladder first can be a stepping stone to business success. Someone will argue that this is a trifle. But "from the little things perfection is added, and perfection is not a trifle"!

Who is this book for?
For those who constantly communicate with people.

For those who understand that knowing the nuances of courteous communication will help you in business and personal life.

For those who want to know the non-verbal language of etiquette and be in the game.

book chips
The author of the book talks about:
non-verbal etiquette and manners of the leader and subordinate
business image of a man and a woman
negotiation process etiquette and distance communication etiquette
speech and netiquette
O national characteristics etiquette

about the author
Elena Ber - image maker, psychologist, art critic. Graduated from Milan Fashion Academy (Italy), Beauty for all seasons school (USA), Bogomolov Image School (Latvia). 15 years of experience in the market of image services. In a circle professional activity includes conducting trainings on image building, etiquette and good manners, business protocol, advising organizations and individuals.

Hide

Guys, we put our soul into the site. Thanks for that
for discovering this beauty. Thanks for the inspiration and goosebumps.
Join us at Facebook And In contact with

Knowledge of the rules business cooperation can do a very good job: if the impression made on partners and customers is favorable, then the company's business will go uphill, as it is pleasant to deal with its representatives.

Today website will share useful tips psychologist Elena Ber.

How to say hello

• When you enter a room, be the first to say hello.
• If there are other people in the office of the person you came to, limit yourself to a general bow and greeting. Then shake hands with the person who invited you.
• When greeting someone, do not limit yourself to a formal "Hello". Call the interlocutor by name.
• When meeting, when you are introduced or you introduce yourself, do not rush to shake hands. The person to whom you are introduced should do so first.
• On official meeting Kissing ladies' hands is not customary.
• If you are sitting, if possible, stand up when you greet.

How to shake hands

• If you approach a group of people and shake hands with one person, you need to shake hands with the rest.
• It is not customary to shake hands across a threshold, a table, or over the head of a person sitting between you.
• Do not shake hands with the interlocutor, keeping the other in your pocket.
• The leader is always the first to give a hand.
• Shaking hands with both hands is discouraged as it is meant to show a closer relationship with people.

How to meet

• If there are strangers around you, do not be shy: feel free to introduce yourself, do not wait to be introduced.
• When meeting at a business meeting (conference, reception), you should not immediately talk about your achievements - just indicate what you do and why you got to the meeting or event.
• The person to whom you introduce a stranger is mentioned first. The one you represent is the second.
• When someone is introduced to you, focus on remembering their name and use their name more often during the conversation.
• Forgetting the name of the interlocutor, try to soften the situation by correctly asking: “Sorry, I have become a little forgetful lately, could you remind me of your name?”

What should be a business card

• The business card should be designed in a strict, concise style.
• Those who often work with foreign partners should print Business Cards in the language of partners - in Asian countries this is especially welcome.
• If some information about you has changed, you need to order new business cards: in no case do not correct the data on old business cards, a card with blots and corrections is a sign of bad taste.
• good tone for business man It is considered the presence of business cards in two languages ​​- Russian and English.
• If you did not find a person in place, but want to show respect to him, bend the upper right corner of the business card you left.

How to end a meeting

• Leaving strangers, it is not necessary to personally say goodbye to everyone.
• If you leave a crowded reception before the rest of the guests, say goodbye only to the hosts of the meeting. Otherwise, your departure may serve as a signal to the party participants that it is time for everyone to go home.
• If the conversation is taking too long, invite the other person to meet new people, introduce them to each other, apologize, and bow out.
• Farewell should be short - for example, shaking hands, as in a meeting.
• End conversations politely with catchphrases such as "It was nice seeing you."
• If you need to leave the meeting early, wait for a pause in the conversation, stand up and say goodbye, expressing hope for a new meeting.

Language of the body

• When talking to people, you do not need to spread your legs wide, stoop and keep your hands in your pockets.
• The fig leaf pose (palms clasped in such a way that the hands form an inverted "V") indicates shyness and self-doubt.
• If you make fussy movements, sway from side to side, or touch your face or hair, you reinforce your own nervous tension and distract those around you.
• Excessive gesticulation during a conversation is not welcome. Gestures should be restrained - interlocutors may be confused by excessive expression.
• The distance between you and the interlocutor should be at least the distance of an outstretched arm.
• Do not sit cross-legged, especially in a chair. If it is deep, you can stretch your legs slightly.

How to negotiate

• Partners should be invited to negotiations at least two weeks in advance so that they can prepare.
• The venue of the negotiations is offered by the inviting party, but the invited party has the right to both accept and reject it.
• When there are many participants and they are unfamiliar, you can arrange cards with surnames on the table.
• The parties are located opposite each other in order of correspondence of positions.
• After the greeting, the participants should be introduced to each other. It is also necessary to designate their role and powers in the negotiations.
• If negotiations are conducted with a foreign delegation, it is necessary to agree in advance on the language of negotiations and ensure technical means for translators.
• If a conversation is being recorded, guests should be informed about this.
• The optimal duration of the meeting is two hours. If negotiations drag on, a half-hour coffee break is necessary.

Reception of business partners

• The head of the delegation, corresponding in rank, must meet guests at the airport. He usually arrives accompanied by two or three people.
• If the guest arrives with his wife, then it is advisable for the host leader to come to the first meeting accompanied by his wife.
• The head of the host country is introduced first. Then he introduces the spouse, after that the employees (in descending order of positions).
• Think in advance how to seat guests in cars so that everything goes smoothly.
• If the head of the meeting party arrives driving a personal car, then the place of honor for the guest is next to him.
• When seeing guests to the hotel, part with them not on the street, but in the lobby.

mobile etiquette

• Call to mobile phone for business matters work time, on weekdays it is considered the time period from 09:00 to 21:00.
• Always turn off your phone during negotiations and a joint dinner.
• If you call someone and the answering machine turns on, do not hang up. Introduce yourself and ask for a call back at your convenience.
• If your call is not answered, call back no earlier than two hours later.
• It is impolite to wait for more than six rings - it is better to hang up after the fifth ring.
• The person who started it ends the conversation. If the connection is interrupted, the caller calls back.
• Dropping a call is considered impolite. You need to answer and ask to call back (or promise to call back) after a specific period of time.
• Do not give mobile phone numbers without the consent of their owners.

Article navigation

Basic rules of etiquette in society. Etiquette in modern society

November 30, 2014

The rules of etiquette in society is the ability to behave in any cases in which a person may find himself. Now it is very fundamentally important to know them, to have good manners in order to be pleased with yourself and others, to treat all people with respect, affability, kindness, naturally. So that any, moreover, the best elite society will gladly accept you into its ranks.

Interpretation of the term

Etiquette in modern society is a list of generally accepted rules that relate to human behavior in relation to other people in certain life situations.

There are a couple of basic types of such rules.

1. The ability to submit oneself the rules of wardrobe formation, appearance, self-care, physical form and posture, gait, postures, gestures.
2. Speech etiquette is the ability to correctly say greetings, compliments, gratitude, give remarks; farewell rules, politeness, manner of speech.
3. Table etiquette, manners at the table, serving standards, skill is available.
4. Rules of etiquette in society, how to behave in a museum, at an exhibition, in a theater, restaurant, court, library, shop, office, etc.
5. Work etiquette relations with employees, management, good manners in business, ability to lead business meeting etc.

Ability to present yourself

Good manners, the rules of etiquette, the ability to be a kind person - all this requires not only skills, but also knowledge in these areas. Modern man must know how to carry himself in arbitrary events, be able to behave accordingly, be amiable, friendly and self-confident.

Etiquette in clothes

The first impression is the strongest and most memorable, and besides this, the mind is manifested in the choice of clothing for the occasion. In order to make a good impression, it is not enough to be fashionable or expensively dressed. If you want to please others, you must take into account with them and take into account various events. Based on this, in addition, in the formation of a wardrobe, it is customary to follow the rules of etiquette in society. It is fundamentally important that the clothes be beautiful and fit you, but much more seriously, so that all the details of the appearance are organically combined with each other, and he himself corresponds to the time, place and situation. It is not customary to wear evening dresses during the day, and to wear leisure clothes to work. Any time, choosing what to wear, you must take into account the situation, the appropriate pretext, time, place, remember about your personal age, features of the figure. Everything you wear must always be clean, hemmed, buttoned and ironed. The output attire must always be in full readiness. As you build your wardrobe, remember to include must-have items such as suits, tailored pants and skirts, blouses and evening wear, and home sets.

Personal care

Good manners require obligatory observance of the rules of hygiene, cleanliness of clothes, proper nutrition and a healthy lifestyle. It is unacceptable to appear in society unkempt. Along with this, it is fundamentally important to monitor the appearance in the complex, carefully removing hair, going out into the world. These are mandatory rules of etiquette and behavior for a girl, as well as for a man.

Good manners in society

The ability to present oneself begins with gait, posture, gestures, postures, manners of sitting and sitting. The rules of etiquette in society require an excellent gait with a straight posture, at a time when the arms do not move widely in the rhythm of the step, the shoulders are straightened, the belly is tucked up. It is forbidden to lift your head high, but you should not walk with your head down. poses and gestures are no less responsible. In order to make a good impression, you need to behave simply and naturally. Moveton is considered the manner of twirling something in your hands, twisting your hair around your finger, drumming your fingers on the table, stamping to the beat of the music, touching any parts of the body with your hands, pulling on someone else's clothes. As for the question of how to sit correctly, it is fundamentally important to know only two rules: do not cross your legs and do not fall apart, spreading your legs and arms to the sides.

Speech etiquette

Polite words are special formulas in which a large amount of information is encrypted, both semantic and emotional. You need to know them by heart, be able to choose the most appropriate for the occasion and pronounce them in a timely manner in the appropriate tone. Masterly, correct possession of these words and there is speech etiquette in modern society.

1. Greeting

When choosing a form of greeting, put enough meaning and emotion into the words. For example, you will act not very delicately, saying good day a person whose face shows that he is upset about something. Or it is completely unacceptable to say hello to the head, except in cases of personal friendship. Be attentive to words and people when greeting them, call them by name or by name and patronymic. Men must accompany each other with a handshake. When meeting a woman, a gallant gentleman kisses her hand, along with this, he should not pull her towards him, but must bend as the lady gave her hand.

2. Appeal, presentation

Which of the appeals is preferable, you have to decide in each case, depending on the audience you are addressing. It is customary to address acquaintances by name or by name and patronymic, the second is considered a manifestation of greater respect. In a formal setting, imagining someone else, use the first and last name. And addressing by patronymic, for example, Ivanovna, is possible only in the village, but not in a secular society.

3. Requests

The word please is really wonderful, it is in without fail should sound in all requests. Because the request is one way or another a burden on the one you are addressing, in some cases it is worth adding: If it’s not hard for you, won’t it make it difficult for you? In addition, it is appropriate to say: “Do me a favor, be kind, could you,” etc.

4. Farewell

Before you say goodbye, go to prepare the interlocutor for parting: It's late, Unfortunately, I have to go. After that, it is customary to express satisfaction with the time spent together, for example, I am glad that we met. The next stage of farewell is words of gratitude. From time to time it is possible to say a compliment to the mistress of the house, say goodbye and immediately leave without delay.

In addition, the rules of etiquette in society imply the ability to invite, ask for forgiveness, console, express condolences, and gratitude. Any of these forms of address must sound natural, honest, except for uncouth and harsh phrases and phrases.

Table etiquette

It is just as fundamentally important to be beautiful as to move and speak well, but just here it is especially necessary to carry out the measure.

• It is not required to try to intentionally embellish the process of eating, for example, to eat in very small pieces, to set aside bent fingers. It is enough not to open your mouth during chewing, not to speak with your mouth full, to chew the food in a whisper before putting the next portion in your mouth.
• Under no circumstances should you drink until you have swallowed the food, except when you suddenly take warm food into your mouth. If you see that the food is warm, do not blow on it before you start eating.
• Try to eat and drink completely very quietly.
• In society, bread is eaten not by biting off the whole piece, but by breaking off pieces from it.
• Salt from an open salt shaker, if there is no special spoon in it, is supposed to be taken with the end of a clean knife, pouring it on the edge of your plate at the end.
• Ketchup or mustard as a seasoning is offered only in the most relaxed atmosphere.
• During the meal, try to stain your plate as little as possible, do not stir or smear food on it.
• Under no circumstances, except at home, do not eat with your hands. It is customary to hold the fork in the left hand, and the knife in the right. If you are eating a salad, then you can take the fork with your right hand.
• If you want to drink or pause in food, then you must leave the fork and knife in a crosswise or "house" position.
• The spoon is constantly taken with the right hand, if you eat from a soup bowl, the spoon is left there at the end of the meal, not laid out on the table.
• At the end of the meal and before drinking, it is customary to use a napkin.

Etiquette: rules of conduct in society and public places

In public places, there are some specific rules of good manners, which are very important to follow.

1. In a museum, at an exhibition, a vernissage

The rules of conduct in these temples of art all over the world are monotonous and very simple: walk through the halls quietly, speak in a hushed tone, do not touch anything with your hands, do not come too close to paintings and exhibits so as not to disturb other visitors.

2. In the theater, philharmonic, concert hall

Modern rules of good taste for couples are contradictory. Previously, a man had to invite ladies to such public places, now it is considered fully decent if a woman herself invites him to a performance, a concert. And also if it is she who pays for tickets for two. A well-bred man should fulfill the role of a gallant gentleman, taking care of a woman everywhere. It is fundamentally important to arrive on time, undress normally, take a seat without disturbing anyone. People with impeccable upbringing should not chew anything during the viewing.

3. In court, church, clinic, library

The rules of etiquette and good manners in society call for behaving in these places as quietly and inconspicuously as possible. It is forbidden to talk, rustle, chew and walk without special need. Address requests and questions in a polite and quiet manner.

In any institution, it is fundamental to maintain good manners, to be amiable, tactful and polite. Basically, your presence should not cause discomfort to any of those present.

work etiquette

Good manners at work are a must for every employee. What specific points are affected by work etiquette? Easy rules will help to understand this issue.

• Observance of subordination with employees and management.
• Timely arrival at work and prompt performance of their duties.
• Polite communication with both employees and visitors.
• Privacy at work.
• Appropriate clothing for the institution you work for.
• Lack of personal topics in discussions.
• Maintain law and order in your workplace.
• Ability to communicate on the phone.

The rules of business etiquette in society provide help to achieve the goals assigned in business. Thanks to good manners, it is possible to move up the corporate ladder and be a successful self-actualized person in everything.

In order to be a pleasant person in any situation, so that they would like to deal with you, it is necessary to perfectly know the laws of behavior in society. They will help not only to achieve any goals, but also to become a self-confident and joyful person.

14 Ways Cats Show You Their Love There's no doubt that cats adore us the way we love them. If you do not belong to the category of people who favor fl.

What Happens When You Do Plank Daily: 7 Unexpected Effects The plank is an incredible position that is needed on its own, but is also convenient for performing additional exercises.

How to look younger: the best haircuts for those over 30, 40, 50, 60 Girls in their 20s do not worry about the shape and length of their hair. It seems that youth was created for experiments on appearance and impudent curls. But already after

10 Shakespeare Swears That Work Better Than Modern Shakespeare Get to know Shakespeare's unique swear words - you'll love using some of them.

10 indicators that a man will change you There are obvious indicators of infidelity, it is simply unrealistic not to notice them. Many ladies are faced with the fact that at one beautiful moment their betrothed early.

How a python “dined” on a porcupine and how it ended for him A cyclist riding to Lake Eland found a huge snake that apparently ate something big. Python, judging by the impressive size of his belly, p.

Good manners and business etiquette

Today people with good manners Less and less. One gets the impression that etiquette experts are dying out like mammoths, and there are more and more Mowgli children around, brought up exclusively by the Internet.

From time to time I receive emails that begin something like this: "Hey dude! Let's be friends with you!". (In brackets, I note that these are not always obvious spammers; both requests for help and offers of cooperation can begin this way). I won’t say that it shocks me a lot - but only if I heard something like that from my buddies.

The last such letter came from an unfamiliar 20-year-old boy ... And I am 2.5 times older than him. And the vast majority who know me personally address me by my first and last name. Not on purpose :) I don’t ask them about it, apparently it happens by itself ...

I have strong German roots, and in German culture confuse the appeal to Du (You) and Sie (You), especially in situations business communication, like death. I do not pretend to always be approached with three curtsies :). But in some cases, the inadequacy of communicators goes off scale :(.

Of course can do without etiquette. Good manners are not a requirement these days. Freedom of the individual and its self-expression; tolerance; indifference ("and so it will do") - these are the realities of today, making etiquette completely unnecessary. The main nightmare of the 21st century is the gray crowd, who were led to believe that they are not gray by default, and therefore this crowd is arrogant, noisy and shameless, considering their own freak show the "norm", and simply unable to understand the difference between etiquette-like behavior and rudeness :(.

But it is precisely the adherence to things "not obligatory" (but noble) that distinguishes a genuine aristocrat from the gray mass. Moreover, the following is uncompromising and long. It's like that joke:

- How do they manage to make such beautiful lawns in English estates?

- Yes, it's very simple: first we cut with a large mower, then with a small one, then we water it, and that's all ...

- And all?!

- Yes. And it's been that way for the last 300 years.

Genuine aristocracy - a kind of "impregnation" of a person with etiquette - brought up by generations. And every time this continuity breaks ( alas, in our country with its long-suffering history, this happened too often), etiquette behavior and aristocracy have to be developed in oneself anew. Develop as a personal skill, as self-discipline.

No matter how strange it may sound for the modern young and liberated generation, but mastering the norms of etiquette and "pumping" good manners is very cool direction to work on yourself, for self-development and self-improvement;).

Let me explain ... Etiquette is a system of identification marks; something like "friend/foe". Etiquette behavior is entrance ticket to high society. The higher the social High Class, the stricter the "censorship of etiquette" there, the more subtle they distinguish between imitators of good manners and truly aristocratic naturalness.

Modern grubby and merrily swearing start-ups in ripped jeans proudly declare: " Fuck etiquette! We are simple guys, we will make a super product and break the market! It is we who will dictate the rules to the world, incl. and etiquette!". Well, well ... I'll look at you, how you, in your torn jeans, stick your head, for example, to serious investors :))

And then, all this has already happened :). There were 90s, and there were "specific boys" in raspberry jackets and with gold around their necks, beer with crayfish at business receptions, and business communications on a thieves hair dryer in half with a mat. And they, too, quite considered themselves the masters of life and the rules of etiquette as well. And where are these cool guys now?

I do not take into account those who retired or never grew out of small-town small businesses. The fate of those who began to grow further, whose business has outgrown the borders of the country, and whose business circle has outgrown the circle of friends of turbulent youth, is interesting. Communication with foreign business partners very quickly puts you in place, very quickly turns on this very identification code "friend / foe."

For centuries-old dynasties like the Rothschilds or the Rockefellers, modern Russian billionaire oligarchs ( or IT guys like Gates, Zuckerberg, Brin and so on.) - not more than occasional upstarts, nouveau riche. Yes, they have money, but according to the socio-cultural code (primarily the etiquette code), they are "alien". And the doors of High Society are closed to them. And would you know what a sense of inferiority they (the oligarchs) experience at the same time!

If you say " Yes, I do not need it at all, this is high society!", then you will be wrong. Business is connections, connections and more connections. If your connections do not "grow up", then your business is unlikely to ever become truly successful. The higher the level of people in business, the more clearly they understand this. And therefore, they work very seriously and purposefully on their good manners. Therefore, instead of crayfish, I had to learn how to eat lobsters; and instead of giving a damn about speaking English with a slight Cambridge accent :))

Perhaps, for your life and for your business, the level of Rockefellers is not relevant :). But here it is important to change your attitude to etiquette, it is important to understand main principle: etiquette behavior is not an "unnecessary luxury", but valuable resource, giving you the opportunity to grow up the social ladder (both for you personally and for your business).

Learning good manners is extremely difficult today. I know this not by hearsay, because. you have to periodically conduct, and even take part in different communicative situations yourself :). The modern world is global and open, which means that different rules of etiquette can be mixed in the most bizarre combinations. There are simply no "only true" rules of etiquette (including business etiquette). More or less strictly norms and rules of etiquette are prescribed only in the diplomatic protocol; in all other communications, there are simply no standards below the rank.

More precisely, we can say that today there are many local, subcultural rules of etiquette- each "monastery" has its own "charter". Knowing these rules and regulations in advance is also far from always possible. What to do then?

In the study of etiquette, there are "basics", but there is also an "advanced level".

"Advanced level"is rather a natural gift, the ability to inspire trust among communication partners, as if bypassing the etiquette identification code ("friend / foe"). Such people are born "anthropologists", they are beyond a short time able to decipher etiquette behavior even in an unfamiliar subculture. In addition, they are excellent imitators, able to mimic and seem "their" in almost any group.

Advanced communicators are, in fact, very subtle imitators: they do not know the etiquette norms of this subculture, but intuitively grasp them and portray them quite appropriately (sometimes even at the level of reason without understanding what they are doing and why). But at the same time, everything "rolls", and they are taken for "their own". They are around, they are all taken for "nice and well-mannered" people with good manners. But if you start to analyze their etiquette behavior without unnecessary emotions, you will quickly realize that this is a fake. True, it is still very difficult to overcome such spells :)

"Elements" of etiquette- this is knowledge of the basic simplest skills of etiquette behavior. For example, that at the beginning of communication you need to greet people, and do it politely, in accordance with the situation and the status of the interlocutor. In theory, we learn the basics of etiquette in childhood, mainly in the family. Or we don’t study - here someone is already lucky with the family :).

The basics of etiquette may seem primitive, but they are very important. They need to be known and perfected to automatism in application. "The Basics" are important for a very simple reason - " meet by clothes". Etiquette skills are an integral part of the first impression, they are included in the "clothing" kit :). If you do not demonstrate them, then the degree of trust in you will be significantly lower; and communication itself will be less successful and effective.

Today there are many ways to master the "basics" of etiquette behavior - there are trainings and seminars, there are many books. ( I will keep silent about the "advanced level" - this is a separate topic;)). I don't want to divide trainings/books on etiquette into "good" or "bad" - in terms of mastering etiquette skills, any information/skills are better than their absence (and, as mentioned above, etiquette standards are local today, and it is very difficult to find them right away). something suitable for your tasks and training situation). The conclusion from this is simple: ANY development of the "basics" of etiquette will never be superfluous!

At first general impressions of the book. "Pros":

1) written briefly, clearly, without water;

2) the etiquette rules and norms that the book contains are quite modern; the level of the proposed rules is not Rockefeller :), but it is suitable for 99% of Russian business communications;

3) the book has a lot of illustrations (photographs, drawings, diagrams) that make the rules of etiquette as clear as possible;

4) really liked the presentation of information: yes step by step algorithms facilitating the development of etiquette skills; there are vivid examples of "how right" and "how wrong";

5) I liked the funny (but to the point :)) comments from Igor Mann! It is a pity that there are not enough of them in the text :)

6) the book was published jointly with the Chancellor company ("clothing for real men from Germany" :)). Of course, many of the illustrations in the book are a kind of product placement of style and accessories from "Kontsler". But these materials are given moderately, to the point, they do not irritate - I would call them a very successful "trick" of the book.

From the small cons"books: some topics are disclosed so superficially that it was probably better not to touch them at all.

For example, in the second chapter there is a section on the rules of etiquette during business trips abroad. But, firstly, not all countries are affected; secondly, there are trips different levels and for different purposes (which greatly affects the rules of etiquette); thirdly, some of the recommendations are very superficial, at the level of common stereotypes, and require mandatory detailing (but for this you need to write a separate book).

What is this book about Helena Ber "Good manners and business etiquette"? In the book five chapters.

The first is wholly devoted to the art of producing auspicious first impression. It tells very well how to say hello, imagine what should be on your business card, what should be the "body language" at the beginning of communication, how to end the conversation and say goodbye, etc.

In the second chapter - etiquette business communication rules both within your own organization (between colleagues of equal status, as well as in hierarchical communication), and in negotiations with business partners outside the organization. Personally, I really liked the rules of etiquette in communication "leader - subordinates" proposed in the book. It remains only now to convince the Russian manager that it would be nice for them to communicate with people in this way (and not according to their mother :))).

The third chapter is devoted speech etiquette. A good chapter, in which there is both about general literacy of speech, and about "small talks" (small talks), and about the ability to listen to the interlocutor, structure your speech, compliment your communication partner, and so on. Very relevant about the rules of "mobile etiquette", because. in the hands of many, this device (mobile phone) is able to turn any live communication into a living hell :)

The fourth chapter is devoted business style in clothes(of course, both male and female). In general, everything is very correct (and with pictures), but somehow not enough!

The fifth chapter is devoted reception etiquette and table etiquette. It describes the types of official receptions; basic rules of table and alcohol etiquette; and also there is a bit of "exotic" - for example, about how you still eat lobsters in a decent society :). Of course, it is impossible to embrace the immensity (i.e., to cover the whole variety of rules of table etiquette different countries and peoples), but the foregoing is quite enough not to disgrace yourself at least at a conventional European table :).

As summary A: The book is good. I would recommend it primarily to readers who classify themselves as "young ambitious careerists" :).

If you are serious about moving up the career and social ladder, then you must be prepared. We are ready for the fact that changes in the modern world are happening rapidly, and literally tomorrow you can find yourself at the same table at an official reception with some Rothschild :). But then look for an answer to etiquette questions like " In which hand should a gentleman hold a fork if he holds a cutlet in his left?"It will be too late!

So "pump" the skills of etiquette behavior in advance, and do not forget to stick to them in work and Everyday life. Remember that "politeness is the best weapon..." :))) ...in any situation. Good luck!

If you liked / found this text useful, be sure!