home » Other questions » Don't justify yourself. Why shouldn't you justify yourself to anyone in these situations? Religious and political beliefs

Don't justify yourself. Why shouldn't you justify yourself to anyone in these situations? Religious and political beliefs

You don't have to prove yourself right to anyone.
About situations related to slander, betrayal, insults... About situations when they try to make an outcast out of you...
Never justify yourself to anyone if you are clean. Even if you've been accused of something you're not guilty of. Even when they make a whipping dummy out of you… Even if all your surroundings turned away from you, believing not in you… And even when the person who was so dear to you betrays you…
Stay strong. In proceedings, you can only once voice your position and tell how everything really happened ... And then, if you consider it necessary. But you don’t need to convince anyone that you are right, even if you are right and pure… You don’t need excuses before those who throw dirt and stones at you… The weak are justified. And know: the more you justify yourself to them, the more they become like a pack of dogs and the more you play by their rules, and this is only good for them ... For every excuse you make, they will find even more lumps of dirt to denigrate you more ... And your every word will be distorted... This will only weaken you even more... Silence is not a sign of consent. Sometimes that's the only answer these people deserve...
Know also that if you choose to justify yourself, it means that the opinion of these people who threw stones and dirt at you is important to you. And if their opinion is important to you, then you are striving to win their trust, restoring your “status quo”. And this means that in essence you are the same: you belong to the same pack, because you are in the same niche ... You want to stay with them, that's why you are fighting for this right so much ... Think about it. To be in this flock or not - the choice is yours.
For those who are strong in spirit.
Someone said a very correct phrase: "Do not tear off masks from people - perhaps they are muzzles." Based on this, be wiser ... This does not mean that you allow yourself to be made a fool, it means that you see everything, understand, but step back and leave them spinning in their own rat-house, only without you. Be higher.
Know that people (also any team) will cover up and defend not the one who knows the truth, not the one who is humiliated, but the one who is more profitable: who brings them money (if we are talking about a working team), or the one who for some reason they still need it ... In a pack of human jackals, this is normal: these are their social rules. Others will cowardly remain silent: this is also normal, because everyone is shaking only for their own fifth point ...
They say that truth has two faces. No…. This is a lie ... The truth is always the same: these are pure facts. And if someone tries to justify himself or distort these facts, turning the “truth” in the direction he needs, while calling on the public and gaining supporters, this does not mean that the truth has “two faces”, this means that another lie for your own benefit.
Be higher ... Someone said: "If you are betrayed, then you are transferred to a higher level." Most likely, the Universe itself is pushing you away from these people, but in a way that you didn’t realize it, it happened in such a tough way ... If they don’t appreciate you, trampling you as a person, then at least you yourself appreciate, respect, take care of yourself ... Your human dignity ... Think about it ... If you were really clean, and this happened: perhaps it's time for you to break with this person, or with these people (place, team, etc.).
Don't be afraid to be alone. The one who is in the crowd is the one in the herd. And they have a collective mindset. They, like on crutches, rely on the opinion of the majority, looking at each other, because the worst thing for them is to become objectionable... They are in the system... They have long laid themselves in the slavery of their own stupidity, cowardice, pettiness and pettiness... They understand only that , which is beneficial for them ... Which is very convenient for any manipulator. And their path leads to a place where only a herd can walk.
If you are a loner, you have a chance to go where no one has been before .... To go where no one has gone... You make your mark.... It is possible that later someone will follow you ... But you walked alone ... Let them laugh at you, making a fool out of you, let them turn away from you, slander you, no one believed you ... Let ... But you were not afraid ... In this world price tags you have your values. And you are true to them because you are true to yourself. And this is worth a lot ... Because in fact it is priceless ...
If there is no one around who believes you, who understands, would support you - do not despair ... Do not look for supporters among the weak, also among those who just go over to the opposite side ... These people are shaking their asses ... Leave them. Stay alone...
Know: your man will not pass you by...
Building coalitions, recruiting allies using your distorted truth is the lot of vile people. If you are faced with a situation where she is against you - hold on. There will always be people who are envious of you in some way, trying to denigrate you, slandering you with honest eyes .... Know one thing: it's their dirt. Not yours. A diamond smeared in mud remains a diamond forever... Just take a shower... But brilliant surrogates fade with time, because it is a fake... Cheap stuff from the world of jewelry. This is an analogy of the world of people ...
"Do not accept any negativity until you have accepted it - it belongs to the one who brought it" - Buddha.

In principle, it is better not to make excuses ever. If you make excuses, then you are a priori guilty. When you are reproached for something, the best answer is to silently turn around and leave. Discussion here is also unlikely to help. Remember that this is your life. And since only you are responsible for it, then it is up to you to decide what to do in different situations. So, in what cases are you definitely not obliged to report to anyone?

1. Life situation

Many "kind" people for "your own good" may reproach you that, for example, having gray hair, you still do not have your own home or family. It is generally blasphemous when they give valuable instructions if you do not have children. And in principle, how many people, so many life situations. And only you understand the reasons for your actions in different situations. Nobody is in your place.

2. Priorities in life

We all have our own values in life, our aspirations, our goals, our priorities, our dreams. Only you know that this moment put in the first place. Many are accustomed to imposing their priorities on others. Sometimes it's just a cliché. For example, you often hear that “children are the main thing, and only they should be in the forefront, the rest is not important” and stuff like that. In the end, it can hurt other people's feelings. After all, if there are no children, then it turns out that there is nothing “important” in the life of these people.

3. Ask for forgiveness or not?

For many, this is not an issue at all. One of my former friends never apologized to anyone. Offended - not offended, he does not care. But if a person does not have a sense of guilt, then he himself will not understand why he should ask for forgiveness! On the other hand, too hasty an apology can be seen as a desire for a person to quickly unhook from you. So if you don't feel guilty, don't apologize. A banal apology does not come from the heart, then what's the point?

4. When you want to be alone

Basically, we are, or are forced to be in society. Most of them are. But there are people who are also comfortable being alone (like me). Refusal of invitations to spend time in the company is often perceived inadequately. For example, as arrogance, even asociality. But you should not make excuses that you feel good in your own company. Let them think what they want.

5. Personal beliefs

Sometimes, some people present their personal beliefs as the ultimate truth. And demanding that they agree. If your personal beliefs do not coincide with these, do not nod in solidarity. It is better to protest or leave, because if you just listen, you can accumulate internal resentment or disappointment. Do you need it?

6. "No!"

A golden word that many of us, unfortunately, cannot say. Need to study. Do not think that you will offend someone by your refusal. If you do a favor to a person, but through force, being afraid to refuse, then you will have internal tension and irritation with this person. Put your priorities ahead of other people's priorities. Don't let yourself be distracted from your goals.

7. Appearance

Do not make excuses and complexes about your appearance. You can dislike everything about your body. You can wear whatever you want. For some, your appearance may be strange, but that's their business. Don't let anyone make comments about your appearance. How you look is your own business.

8. Kitchen

We all have our own food preferences and that's okay. I've met several people in my life who didn't hesitate to "fut" during the whole process of eating. You see, they did not like this or that product. But this is a matter of tact. You don't have to make excuses that you love a particular product or that it's useful.

9. Sexual life

There are many who like to delve into someone else's underwear. Often, you can’t achieve reciprocity with these people in such matters, well, it’s not necessary. Who you sleep with or just spend time with is your own business. Moreover, whether you are married or have casual relationships, no one should be worried either.

10. Personal choice

What is more important: personal life or career? This is an extremely difficult choice that can cost you a lot of nerves. However, you yourself weigh everything on the scales, you yourself make a choice and you yourself are responsible for it. And no one is obliged to explain why you did it this way and not otherwise. Do not be afraid of condemnation, the main thing is your confidence in right choice.

11. Social views

Be it religious, political or otherwise. There is a considerable proportion of people who consider only their own views to be exclusively correct. As usual, they impose these views on others. Perhaps this is the most painful issue, since there are big problems in the religious and political divide in the world. What's the point of arguing over whose faith is cooler? It's up to you which god to pray to, in every sense.

12. Loneliness

Alas, in our society, lonely people are treated ambiguously. If you are not married (not married), then you have big problems. As if in families where there is not the slightest harmony, there are no problems. Your freedom is your choice, which does not concern anyone.

13. Requests for a date

Surely, in your environment there are a lot of matchmakers whom you don’t feed with honey, but let them marry your neighbor. Moreover, usually such people have little order in their families. In my experience, this doesn't end well. If you are unsympathetic to the person who is being imposed on you, refuse to meet.

14. Marriage Decision

Any: either about marriage, or rejection of it. No matter how your loved ones push you, motivating you to babysit your grandchildren or nephews, don’t be fooled by provocations. Remember that it is up to you to live with the second half. And if you have chosen a life free from marriage ties, your family will have to come to terms with it.

15. Relationship selection

When we enter into romantic relationships, we make mistakes, but we are responsible for them and we learn from them. Often friends or relatives unceremoniously intervene in a relationship between two people, saying that you, for example, are not a couple, that you need someone else. Maybe needed. But that's up to you. In the end, any relationship, even not very pleasant, must have its end.

Never make excuses. Your friends don't need it, and your enemies won't believe it anyway. Elbert Hubbart

One very respected person once told me: “Never make excuses!”

But why make excuses?

After all, there is nothing terrible in mistakes, but quite the contrary. Mistakes help and teach us. And in the end, everyone has the right to make mistakes ...

15 things you don't have to report and justify. Never.

1. You don't have to explain your life situation to anyone.

If you live in a civil marriage, or wander from one rented apartment to another, or live with your parents, although you are no longer twenty, you are not obliged to report to anyone why you are doing this and not otherwise. If you are fully aware of your life situation, then this means that you have own reasons keep it like that, and they don't concern anyone.

2. You don't have to explain your life priorities to anyone.

You have your own thoughts about what can be done for the comfort and happiness of your loved ones and yourself - that's your top priority. Since we are all unique individuals with different values, dreams, and aspirations, one person's priorities will invariably differ from those of another. You determine your own, and do not have to report to anyone.

3. You don't have to apologize if you're not sorry.

If you don't regret your actions, still think someone was wrong, or don't really need forgiveness, you shouldn't apologize. Many people try to apologize too quickly in order to quickly heal wounds that are not yet ready for such a “treatment”. This can only worsen the situation. You don't really need to ask for forgiveness if you don't feel guilty.

4. You don't have to justify your time alone to anyone.

Many people are afraid of being called "rude", "anti-social", "arrogant" if they cancel plans or refuse invitations because they need some time to be alone with themselves to relax, "reboot" or just read. good book. In fact, such lonely timeouts are a completely normal practice that most of us need. Take them confidently and don't bother with explanations.

5. You are not required to agree with anyone's personal beliefs.

Just because someone speaks passionately about their beliefs, you don't have to sit back and nod in approval. If you do not share their ideas, it is unfair to yourself and others to pretend that you agree with them. It is better to calmly object to them than to accumulate disapproval and disappointment.

6. You don't have to say yes.

You have every right to say "No" unless there are good reasons for agreeing. The greatest success in all areas is achieved by people who have mastered the art of giving up everything that is not their priority. Recognize the kindness of others and be grateful, but feel free to say “No” to anything that diverts your attention from your main goals.

7. You don't have to make excuses for your appearance.

You can be slim or plump, tall or short, handsome or ordinary, but you don't have to explain to anyone why you look that way. Your appearance is solely your business, here you are obliged only to yourself. Don't let your appearance define your self-worth.

8. You don't have to explain your eating habits to anyone.

There are certain foods that you just don't like for a variety of reasons, from taste to how they affect your health. If someone pesters you with a question about why you eat (or don't eat) certain foods, ignore it and answer that you feel good eating that way.

9. You don't have to report your sex life to anyone.

If you are in a close relationship with an adult by mutual agreement, then no one cares where, how and when you arrange your sex life. You can wait for marriage, engage in casual relationships, and even experiment with a person of the same sex as you - as long as you enjoy it, it is entirely up to you.

10. You don't have to explain your career or personal choices to anyone.

Sometimes circumstances force us to choose between work and personal life. This decision is not always easy, and you may end up choosing a job - not because you don't care about your family, but because this choice will give you security in the future. In any case, you do not have to explain to others why you chose the profession (or vice versa) if you are sure that you are doing everything right.

11. You are not required to explain your political or religious views.

Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, Catholic, Protestant, or Muslim, that is your personal choice. You don't have to explain your faith. When someone can't accept you for who you are, that's their problem, not yours.

12. You don't have to explain why you're single.

Whether you are married or not, married or not, should not concern anyone but you. Loneliness is not a personality disorder. You are free to choose whether to enter into a relationship or not. Just remember: you are not your marital status. No need to stick on yourself and others useless social labels.

13. You don't have to date someone just because you're asked to.

Someone may be nice and cute, but you don't have to date them. If you feel deep down that you don't need this meeting, then don't go to it. Find a reason for rejection and don't change your mind.

14. You don't have to explain your marriage decision to anyone.

Whether you want to get married and have children or stay single and childless, it will remain a personal decision. Even if your mom just raves about her grandchildren, she will have to come to terms with your life choices, no matter how difficult it may be.

15. You don't have to explain your relationship choices.

Sometimes people make inappropriate remarks about your romantic relationship. Surely someone said that you are "not the perfect couple" or that you need to look for someone else. However, in this matter you are not accountable to anyone but yourself. Live own life and never end or stay in a relationship just because someone tells you to. Make mistakes and learn from them - that's life.

Let's talk about excuses - about those excuses that arise when we do something wrong, or when we are told that we are wrong and wrong, in general, about those cases when we do not want to change in something or do something. Think about whether excuses help - the mind sometimes invents, and often gives quite logical and convincing arguments in favor of being right, but does this change our life in better side? In fact, more often than not, excuses are just a deception, and not of others, but of ourselves. But in order to start living consciously, you need to become honest with yourself, read on - how to stop making excuses.

Self-deception or lying to oneself

People around us sometimes point out our shortcomings or wrong behavior, or we ourselves point out wrong behavior to others - whoever is closer, and most often in such situations people begin to make excuses. It is extremely difficult to honestly and calmly admit one is wrong, so few people can do it, especially if a person is under pressure at this moment. The more pressure, the more difficult it is for a person to admit that he was wrong or did wrong - this is noteworthy.

As a rule, a person makes excuses because he is sincerely sure that there are no deviations in his behavior, almost every person is convinced that he lives right. And most often a person makes excuses at an unconscious level, his defensive reactions simply turn on automatically, and the reason for this is our mind. As long as the mind continues to constantly take over our behavior, we will never be able to stop making excuses.

“For the one who curbed the mind, he becomes the best friend, but for the one who failed, the mind remains the worst enemy” Bhagavad Gita, 6.6

The mind is like a child, it reaches for what it likes and rebels when it doesn't like something. Most people live precisely on the platform of the mind, starting to protest and condemn when something does not suit them, in a particular case, to justify themselves and blame others, trying to smooth over their guilt by shifting it to others. How to live consciously - you need to learn to observe your mind Don't let him take over the situation. Mind is inside us, the behavior of such a person, as a rule, is spontaneous - that is, in response to behavior and words that a person does not like, an instant, most often unconscious reaction occurs.

Such a person begins to resent - someone out loud, openly expressing protest and disagreement, and someone in his mind - yes, he does not know me, but I really am not like that, I am different, etc. For many people, there is a war of the mind with the mind - the mind makes arguments in favor of the right actions, saying “Yes, you are wrong, admit it”, and the mind says “You are not to blame for anything, if someone is to blame, then others, you only look at them". The mind will bring hundreds of arguments just to justify itself, since it is very painful for our mind to admit that we are wrong, the mind avoids violence against itself with all its might.

As we have already said, the mind is drawn to what pleases it, which is why a person, as a rule, so painfully endures criticism and reproaches addressed to him, or when they try to correct a person for the better by force. How to stop making excuses with the power of the mind admitting that he was wrong, he is able to set goals and go towards their achievement, show willpower, distinguish what is right and what is wrong. But, most often, the mind breaks all the arguments of the mind to smithereens and prevails.

One of the most favorite phrases of the mind in the case of excuses "Yes, but". For example, they say something to you: “You know, you did just that, and I think it’s wrong.” And you seem to agree, saying “Yes, you are right, but ...”, and this “but” actually completely crosses out “yes”, discounting it. Justifications mean that I am right, excuses are not admitting that I was wrong, making excuses means not taking responsibility for my life, making excuses is the same as saying that I am not to blame and there is nothing wrong with my behavior.

I can find hundreds of excuses for my wrong behavior, but life does not get better from this, I can criticize other people, giving convincing arguments in favor of their guilt, but this does not make life better. With each such excuse, life will get worse and worse, so I choose another one. life path, to live consciously means to be able to admit that one is wrong.

“The one who does not want to change his life cannot be helped” Hippocrates

How to stop making excuses - you need to understand and realize that excuses do not improve our lives in any way. Excuses do nothing to help you think and comprehend your behavior, do not allow you to draw conclusions from wrong behavior. Excuses give not just freedom, but a loophole so that you can do wrong. Excuses cling to a thin thread of truth, when as a general one, as a rule, it looks different. His mind is quirky, he is everywhere able to find something to grab hold of in order to live comfortably, and to find shortcomings there, in accordance with which it would be inconvenient to live.

For example, if a person is divorced, he says “Many are happier in a second marriage”, and if there are children in the family, then such a person can argue that there are families where the child was raised by two parents and grew up by someone else, but there are cases when a single parent, and grew up a wonderful person. Also with smoking and alcohol - there you can find people who sometimes lived for a hundred years and did not die from these, and the fact that several thousand people a day die from this, many do not attach any importance, sincerely believing that this is not about them.

There is truth in this, of course, but in order to stop making excuses, in order to start living consciously, you need to understand and accept that this is only a fraction of the truth, and, as a rule, a much smaller fraction. And there are countless cases where you can find an excuse for yourself. When people start to go to extremes, they most often just make excuses. Such a person, having heard a thought with which he does not agree, will try to insert a reverse example, often exaggerated or simply presented in an extreme form, in order to cross out the thought he heard not to his liking.

Or when a person has read an article or heard a person's story about how to live the right way, and inserts a comment like "Everyone has their own way" or "Every case is unique." Often, there are justifications behind such words - the mind seems to whisper to the person “No, no, no, in our case everything is different, our case is an exception to the rule - quickly insert your word to calm down.” In this case, a person rejects the path that was described or told, but at the same time, he often does not know his own path either, he himself did not embark on any life path, or as they sometimes joke, “How did a person get on spiritual path, and stands, and does not move.

On the other hand, I think that while reading the article, someone already had “Yes, but” and attempts to go to some extreme, for example, what should I, after wrong behavior, reproach myself with self-blame. Extremes are always bad - after wrong deeds, we should not blame ourselves and drive ourselves into a corner, engaging in self-torture, which will be written later.

Honesty with yourself or how to live consciously

The philosophy “All the problems are outside, but everything is fine with me” does not bring positive results in our lives. Stop placating yourself with excuses, stop criticizing only others, continuing to consider yourself soft and fluffy. begin with sincerity and truthfulness towards oneself. When we are honest with ourselves, we soberly assess the situation, we see what we should work on, what needs to be changed in our character and behavior. Just keep track of the state when you start making excuses, it is with observing yourself that the change in our behavior begins.

“If you are looking for perfection, strive to change yourself, not others” Unknown author

How to live consciously - you need to choose the golden mean. If a person makes excuses, it means that he does not admit his wrong, and such a person thinks that I don’t even need to correct myself, everything is fine with me, I don’t have any problems - such a person does not progress a bit. On the other hand, someone is really sometimes crushed by the load of wrong behavior, when he is strongly concentrated on shortcomings, he is crushed by all the bad that is in him. Such a person cannot take a single step, sometimes he is crushed so much - as a rule, under the influence of his own criticism, that he does not even see a light. He does not know how to get out from under the rubble of his own wrong deeds, not seeing where he should move, in what direction.

Try not to overwhelm yourself with this pile. , failures, negative character traits and wrong behavior - not a garbage dump that should put pressure on you, roughly speaking, poking you at how bad and imperfect you are. Let this dump of your shortcomings be just in front of you, as if under the windows - as a reminder that there is something to work on, but do not dive into this pile, do not plunge into a broken state. Acceptance of a situation is when we understand and accept that it was - it was, we did everything we could, unless of course you really made efforts to improve this or that situation, and not just made excuses.

Everyone makes mistakes in this life, everyone has some shortcomings, but this does not mean putting an end to your life. Divorced - it happens, draw at least some conclusions from what happened. Do not blame, at least only others, look into yourself - and this will be a huge step. Repentance is a confession in yourself and a vision of specific sins, just try not to repeat the same mistakes in life, learn a lesson from every situation - this is living consciously. Sometimes fate leads a person through life in such a way that he has no other choice (just don’t think that this is your case), so it’s very important to learn how to treat the events around you correctly.

“The greatest glory is not in never making a mistake, but in being able to rise every time you fall” Confucius

To stop making excuses, you need to be honest with yourself - learn to admit your mistakes and wrong behavior, this is the beginning. Any person can make excuses - there is not an ounce of strength or self-control in this, in order to freak out and criticize others - you don’t need a lot of mind. Until you have honesty with yourself, you will continue to live in the illusion invented by your mind, and your life will not change for the better. The mind is always justified, the ego shows off, the soul is humble. Before judging others, first turn your gaze inward, look at yourself.

It is also necessary to receive feedback from other people regarding their behavior. Many think out, and sometimes even openly decide for other people what is more pleasant and useful for them, when, like these people themselves, they often dream and wish for something completely different. You need to be attentive, listening to the needs of other people - try to understand and find out what this or that person really needs.

How to stop making excuses - when they say to you that you did wrong, try to hear the other person and listen to him, of course, without fanaticism - that is, you don’t have to constantly be in some kind of paranoid state, and look for your sins and work on their correction. To stop making excuses, you need to accept the fact that you can be wrong and wrong. If two or three people say the same words to you, paying attention to or behavior, this is an occasion to think about your behavior. And even more so, if everyone around says that the problem is with you, then the so-called Bob principle “When Bob has problems with everyone, Bob himself is usually the main problem.”

But also remember that we must be moderately indulgent, both to ourselves and to others. There is no point in rebuking something that cannot be changed, but at the same time, we should try our best to do the right thing. I do not incline to live within the framework of some dogma, when a step to the left or a step to the right is execution. There are simply principles by which we should try to live if we make mistakes - it is better to honestly admit them and, if possible, try to correct them, or at least draw the necessary conclusions that would help in the future. It means to live consciously, and this is much better than living in deceit, giving excuses for your behavior every time.

Don't try to change so that someone loves you. Be yourself, and those who really need you will love you for who you are.

If you ask yourself if the people around you always support your decisions, the answer is simple: no, not always. However, you should remember that the meaning of life is not to find excuses for your actions, but to live the way you want to. Your life belongs only to you. Other people may try to convince you of something, but they cannot decide anything for you. They can walk through your life next to you, but not move your legs. And therefore, you must make sure that the path you have chosen leads to the desired goal and does not go against your intuition. Also, don't be afraid to go through life alone if you feel it's the right thing to do.

Make these words your motto: "I respect your opinion, but I don't care about it." And you can repeat it to anyone who will harshly criticize what you sincerely believe in, or what makes you who you are. People will certainly judge you by their own standards and criticize you based on their beliefs - and this is normal. This proves that you somehow influenced their lives...but don't let them influence yours.

And when you need a little inspiration, remember this list of things you shouldn't have to justify to anyone about. So you don't have to make excuses:

For thinking about yourself first. In 2011, during a television interview, Michelle Obama was asked if she felt selfish in her claims that she takes care of herself first, to which she replied: “Not at all. This is practical because often we forget about our own interests because we are too busy caring for someone else. And one of the things I want to teach my kids is to take care of yourself as much as you take care of others." As for me, so she hit the bull's-eye! There are not so many people in the world who will always take care of you, but you must be one of them. Therefore, when drawing up a daily routine, put your needs in the first place in it.
For expressing your emotions. Never apologize for being sensitive or emotional. There is no shame in acting on your feelings, as long as they are real to you. This is a sign that you are a sensitive person, moreover, that you are not afraid to show it to the world. Our emotions help us remember that we are all human. This is for those who judge us for the fact that we are people, that we do not want to hide feelings and not outrage society with our "antics" - it is they who should apologize to us.
Because you are a "strange person".- Do you have the will to be "strange"? Do you have the determination to be real? Know that there is absolutely nothing weird about being weird. We are all strange, each in our own way. So accept your originality - do not be ashamed of it! If you are lucky, and you have something that distinguishes you from others - why hide it?
For the fact that you are you, and do not hide it.“We are never more alive than when we bravely face everything that fate has decided to confront us with. And in order to find courage, first of all, you need to throw off your mask. Find the courage to be yourself. When perfectionism takes over, it drives us on with shame and pushes us on with fear. So why do this to yourself? Stop trying to be perfect in the eyes of others, and be ... yourself.
For not taking everything to heart.“When you distance yourself from other people's opinions and actions, you save yourself a whole bunch of unnecessary worries and suffering. Many will tell you that it's best to face problems head-on and fight without mercy, but why attack when it's easier to defend against it? Therefore, do not take other people's words and deeds too close to your heart. Otherwise, you can spend your whole life offended by the world. What other people do is about them, not about you. And point.
For being willing to forgive people.- Hidden malice - for those who believe that someone always owes them something. Well, forgiveness, on the other hand, is for those who are confident enough in themselves to stand firm on both feet and move forward. And to move forward, you need to know why you felt the way you felt, and why you no longer need those feelings. What happened to you should be understood and accepted, and then let go and move on in the hope that there is only good ahead. Nothing will heal the wounds on your soul and will not help you grow above yourself better than love and forgiveness of unimportant offenses.
Because you choose who you spend time with.“The best thing you can do with your time on this planet is to spend it with the people you love. Of course, there is also a possibility that on your deathbed you will most of all regret that you did not manage to complete a very important project, and in general did not rise to the position that you dreamed of, but for some reason it still seems to me that it is unlikely whether this will be your biggest regret. It is much more likely that you will regret that you did not spend another romantic night with your wife, did not have time to have a heart-to-heart talk with your sister, rarely went to the movies with your best friend ... Life is too short to regret spending time for those you love.
For not being as successful as others.- Don't compare own successes in life with the success of others. In order to move towards a goal that is at the same distance, we all need different times, and this is normal. Two best couples, which I only knew, were formed only when their participants were already over 30. And the child appeared in one of them when they were already over 40. What lesson can be learned from this? And simple - the best things in life do not happen when they should happen according to others, but when the time comes for them. So don't make excuses about why you're not married yet, not working full-time, not making as much money as you "should" and so on. Our lives - they are different, and cannot be similar to each other, as if written in carbon copy.
For failing and being ready to fail again.– Any mistake is at the same time an opportunity to start all over again, to become stronger, smarter and smarter than before. Forget what others have told you about mistakes. Make mistakes, deal with the consequences, learn from what happened, go ahead and repeat everything again. Just because something didn't work out for you today doesn't mean you won't have something good tomorrow. So don't get discouraged and always be prepared. Don't waste your energy justifying yourself to pessimists.
For the stupid things you did in your youth.- Now, in my adulthood, I don’t like all the actions I did in my youth. But I am me. And if I didn't do what I did when I was young and didn't learn from my mistakes, I would be someone else, but not the person I am now. The same can be said about you. All the wise old people were once much younger and dumber - they became wise only with the years they lived. Don't be ashamed of what you did to become who you are.
For dressing how you feel comfortable and not following fashion“Angel and I have helped many thousands of our clients overcome the problem of low self-esteem - and it almost always had something to do with their appearance. As one client said, “When I leave the house looking less than perfect and not quite fashionable, and then meet with acquaintances, I feel the desire to apologize for my inappropriate appearance.” But that's bullshit! You don't have to apologize to someone for looking wrong. It is better to apologize to yourself for the fact that such thoughts occurred to you at all.
For trying to eat right.“Too often our society associates healthy eating with trendy diets and glossy magazine “how to lose weight in three days” schemes. But proper nutrition is a completely different thing. Proper nutrition is aimed at maintaining and strengthening health, and it is infinitely far from "weight loss" diets. So why do we have to defend our choice healthy eating? Yes, because people in general are extremely skeptical about the very idea that someone can just take care of their health, and not at all about what their body weight or shape is. So try to eat right - it will only benefit you. And to hell with the critics!
For the fact that you work purposefully to achieve your dreams. – When people try to inspire you, they often say something warm and sincere words like: “Follow your dream. Listen to your heart. Find your inner voice and sing along with it. Change the world. Strive for more. Change your life. If you're dreaming, then big. Dream until your dreams come true." Of course, you can’t argue with these words, but the main problem is that many people are professional dreamers, but that’s all. And while they are busy with their dreams, truly happy and successful people, people who have passion and inner strength, are trying to make their dreams come true. So be one of them.
For the fact that you smile despite all the hardships. - Alas, there is simply no life in which every day is cloudless. Every day may not be good - but there is something good in every day. Learn to notice it. Ignore the negativity around you. No one knows where life will take us, or what trials await us today. But you can find pleasure in the journey itself, no matter what awaits us at its end. And the more obstacles you overcome, the stronger you will become. Life is always the same, it doesn't get easier or easier - you get stronger and harder. So smile and appreciate every step you take. Only positive attitude will help you understand that even the bad things that happen to you can lead to the best that can only await you in this life.
Because you are hoping for something.- A wise man once said that for happiness we all need only three things - to have someone to love, what to do, and what to hope for. I more than agree with him. We often talk about how important the first two points are - but do not forget about the third. And remember, hope is not believing that one day life will hand it all to you on a silver platter. No, it is the belief that one day you will be able to figure out how to achieve all this for yourself.
For being content with what you have. You don't need worldwide fame, a promotion, or a million dollars bank account. What you already have is enough for you. If so, then you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. Worry less about how you look from the outside, and more about how you look to yourself. You will save yourself from many disappointments and depressions, as soon as you stop looking in others for that approval of your own actions, which only you yourself can give yourself.

Note: Constantly looking for excuses for your actions and actions, you deprive yourself of the best pleasure in your life - to be yourself, with your own ideas, wishes and life experience. If you go through life doing only what is expected of you, then in a sense you stop living. You simply exist.

I've said this over and over and I'll say it again...

Stop existing! Bacteria can do this too. Ask yourself, are you alive?

And now it's your turn...

How has the desire to justify yourself and get approval for your actions from others interfered with your life? What didn't work for you because of this? How did you deal with it? Leave a comment, share your thoughts!