What's new in life. How to start a new happy life

- What prevents you from taking the first steps in better life?
How to start a life path from scratch: 10 tips from a psychologist
- 7 steps to a new life
How to live again if you are 40 years old?
- Conclusion

It is customary to start all great deeds on Monday, change life from the New Year and lead a healthy lifestyle after the milestone of 30 (40, 50, etc.) years. But a rare case ends with the real translation of grandiloquent words into deeds.
What's stopping us? Either promises are not so important, or our willpower is weak, or there is an immutable universal order, which is useless to resist.

Each of us grows up and lives in certain system values ​​and concepts dictated by our upbringing and environment. First, we get acquainted with the world around us and how we ourselves are arranged.

Then we live in an already established system of coordinates and with our own ideas about what we can do. These are rails that are certainly comfortable and familiar to ride - simple, predictable and safe.

In order to really start changing yourself, it’s not enough to leave your native rut, you also need to pave a new path, choosing its direction and understanding: it will be something else, something new, and it’s not a fact that it will turn out to be exactly what we so wanted. This is the risk of losing what is valuable to us today, without the guarantee of a bright future tomorrow.

Changing yourself is nothing more than a way out of your comfort zone, beyond which you don’t want to get out. However, a healthy desire to be and live better does not leave us, and the idea of ​​changing “tomorrow” warms the soul, instilling faith that the best is already very close and just “until the time has come”.

The reasons for such “breakfasts” are varied. We can be physically exhausted and unable to wake up an hour early every morning for a run. We may, consciously or not, make choices in favor of our current comfort zone. We can be under the control of fear and anxiety that in fact we will not succeed, which fetter our consciousness and do not allow us to take risks.

Or we deliberately do not take responsibility for our lives and decision-making. Much easier to go with the flow. To meet these causes of self-deception face to face is not always pleasant, and often impossible without professional support.

Understanding a clear motivation, that is, understanding the goal we are striving for and its value to us, can help keep the word given to ourselves. As well as the willingness to take responsibility for the decisions that shape our lives.

People who decide to start making dramatic changes in their lives will be able to avoid disappointment if they listen to the recommendations:

1. When making an important decision, weigh the pros and cons.

2. Having decided to start new life from a clean slate, don't look back and don't regret what you did. You can't achieve anything if you're constantly tormented by doubts.

3. Believe in success, but prepare for possible difficulties, otherwise the first failure will make you turn back.

4. Compose proper planning your day, your steps to a new life. Better yet, start a diary in which you write about both successes and failures.

5. Do not listen to the cackling of cowards: “Oh, it’s impossible!”, “Well, so what, what beats - they beat everyone”, “It doesn’t matter that the salary is small, there are people who live on a thousand”, etc. However, listen to valuable recommendations that will help you avoid many mistakes.

6. Leave it in the past bad habits: smoking, love of fast food, alcohol abuse - not suitable for a new life.

7. Do not leave unfinished business before starting a new life so that they do not pull you back. Finish everything at your old job, get a divorce, pay off your debts, etc.

8. Find sources of negativity that prevent you from fulfilling yourself, and get rid of them without regrets.

9. Get rid of addictions in the form of the Internet, TV and other things.

• Firstly, you will immediately have a lot of free time that you can fill with something useful.
• And secondly, successful people do not have such weaknesses that guide them.

10. Start a new life with a change in appearance.

7 steps to a new life

Step 1. We part with the past.

If you want to start a new life, you must first part with the past. You must clearly understand that it is impossible to live in a new way with the burden of old problems. In this case, nothing good will come of it. You will only procrastinate the past and stagnate.

Step 2 We part with the present, our habits and work.

At this stage, prepare a list of what you do not like in your life. Write down in a diary all your negative habits, friends that pull you to the bottom and hateful work.

Be honest with yourself and write down absolutely everything that you would like to leave behind and that you would like to change. Now crumple the written sheet, set it on fire, and throw the ashes out the window.

Step 3 New hobbies.

Here you have to think about what you would like to do. Think of new hobbies.

Step 4 Change of habits.

Many psychologists agree that changing habits takes about 2 months.

Naturally, someone can eradicate old habits faster, and someone will need more than two months. At the initial stage, you only need to overcome laziness and internal resistance.

Step 5 There is strength, there is will - there is no willpower

When you start to break yourself by developing new habits, you will need a lot of willpower to overcome all internal contradictions.

When your inner serpent begins to tempt you, it is important not to listen to it, but to concentrate only on new habit. If you can't resist, look for a mega strong motivation or tell the whole world that you are starting to fight old habits. In this case, you simply cannot retreat. Indeed, otherwise you will cease to be respected, as you are throwing words into the wind.

Step 6 New acquaintances.

Moreover, dating should be useful emotionally.
Meet the positive and successful people, looking at which and you will strive for more.

Step 7 New bright future.

At this stage, it is useful to imagine in detail your new life!
Moreover, it is desirable to present everything in the smallest detail: what house you will have, what car, what wardrobe, what food, work, etc.

If you have always dreamed of moving, now is the time to make your dreams come true.

How to live again if you are 40 years old?

How ? The most common phobias associated with the upcoming 40th anniversary relate to the thesis “it’s too late to change something”: they won’t take new job, nothing will work out in my personal life, I won’t understand new technologies, I won’t fit into the team ... But is it really so?

“After analyzing the activities of more than twenty-five thousand people, I found that rarely did anyone achieve outstanding success under the age of forty. Most often they were already in their fifties when they picked up the necessary speed.

Napoleon Hill

So it's never too late to start over. Below are some tips to help you start a new life.

Assess your strengths and weaknesses.
What are you proud of, and what can and should you learn. The Web now has a lot of useful both paid and free webinars and books that help you learn new directions and improve yourself.

Determine exactly what you want.
Do not dismiss the most adventurous options, allow yourself the desired forbidden fruit. Let "I can afford it" be your motto.

Do not think about how others will evaluate you.
This is your life.

Forget the phrase "last chance".
It can spur your desire to change your life as quickly as possible, because of which you will fill a lot of bumps. This is a great age for any start, be it new business or yoga classes.

Use your accumulated experience.
After all, you have probably already mastered a valuable skill: you learned to think first, and then do.

Helpful Hints

Most people make lists of what they would like to try in life.

Some do it to realize unspent opportunities or because of the desire to prove themselves in something new, others just to gain positive emotions and new sensations.

However, these collections of tasks are often formed in a specific social context, and their implementation depends on a number of factors and external conditions such as career or marital status.

It is worth stopping and thinking about what is really important to you. After all, everyone has one life, and it goes by quickly.

And you spin like a squirrel in a wheel, getting into an endless routine of daily affairs and problems.

William Ross once said, “Every man dies. Not every person really lives.”

This checklist will remind you of what's really important to you and allow you to focus on what you want out of life. Do not be afraid to write down even the most crazy and stupid ideas at first glance.

A wish list

So, here is a list of ten items, each of which represents an act that must be done in life in order to feel happy.

Anyone can draw something useful and interesting from this list, or maybe add some of their own ideas and preferences. In any case, it is up to us to decide what is really interesting and important, and what will help to shake up and distract from the daily routine.

Hiking

1. Go Hiking

Hiking is at the top of this list for a reason. According to those who practice it, this sport gives an unforgettable experience. Due to its low cost, it is especially loved by students.

Hiking allows you to enjoy natural beauty in any direction. Its advantages are the relatively low travel costs, and the whole ocean of pleasure and emotions from it.

Freedom and fun are the main companions of hiking. Plus, this is a great opportunity to make new interesting acquaintances. Even when traveling alone without companions, you will never feel alone. There will always be people around you.

Budget airlines, hostels, hitchhiking - all this will undoubtedly make your life brighter and more colorful. Hiking gives a lot in terms of spiritual and personal development. It allows you to understand yourself and see this world from the inside.

Knowledge of the world and strengthening the strength of mind is the main goal of this sport. Therefore, if you are stuck at a crossroads in life, hiking is what it takes to start moving in the right direction.

try something new

2. Try yourself in a new profession

Surely each of us at least occasionally thinks about changing the type of activity, even if his work completely suits him.

Many people want to try something new in terms of profession, different from what you did before. Here it is important to consider Your interests. After all, what you like to do can become the meaning of your life.

Try to develop your hobby. Make every effort to make your favorite thing occupy a certain part of your life.

Start slowly, and gradually devote more and more time to activities that interest you. Finally, you will be able to master new profession, stepping in the right direction and, making enough effort, you can even build a successful career.

A new profession will help you expand your horizons and realize your dreams.

Become a volunteer

3. Volunteer in some good cause

Do good without expecting anything in return. Such an experience, no doubt, will give you the best impressions in your life. This is one of those experiences that each of us should try.

There are hundreds of things you can do as a volunteer to help other people in need.

Being a volunteer in doing good deeds is not mandatory. Rather, it should be the call of the heart and soul.

You can try to help in a hostess, work with children with disabilities or help homeless animals in shelters.

Your money, skills and social statusdo not play a special role. In such cases, the desire to help others is important, and the efforts and efforts made will do their job.

Try to do good to those who need it. Set aside time for this. Remember that your every good deed is important, and that there are always those in the world who are worse than you, which means there are those who need your help all the time.

Blind date

4. Go on a blind date

A blind date is like Russian roulette: you never know what awaits you in the end, who you will meet and where this adventure may lead.

The elements of surprise and excitement are very intriguing, because you can't even imagine what your partner looks like until the last moment.

One of the advantages of blind dating is that such meetings exclude feelings of guilt and duty: if you do not like a fan, you can safely reject his subsequent invitations and hints of further communication.

Thus, blind dates have a number of advantages. First of all, this is a great opportunity to meet someone interesting.

You can meet a great conversationalist with whom there is an unlimited number of topics to discuss. And if you are especially lucky, there is a possibility that you will make a good friend or meet your destiny.

5. Try an extreme sport

There are many who simply cannot live without extreme sports, while others consider such people to be brave or crazy.

Even if you do not belong to the category of those same "reckless daredevils", such an experiment will give you a lot of positive emotions.

Bungee jumping, kayaking, paragliding or swimming with white sharks will be an invaluable experience that will give you the thrill.

Such experiments can last from a few seconds to several minutes, but they can become the most unforgettable moments in your life.

Since extreme sports are very traumatic and dangerous, you must take all precautions and do it with a professional instructor. In no case do not try to conquer the sky or snowy peaks on your own or take a swim alone.

6. Treat a stranger to coffee

There is nothing easier than just taking and treating a stranger in a cafe with tea or coffee. It would seem that such a trifle, but there will be a lot of positive emotions from such an act. From the received positive, you will be energized for the whole day.

And it's just a simple cup of coffee.

See the northern lights

7. Watch the Northern Lights

People of different faiths and nationalities fly huge distances towards the north to enjoy this amazing spectacle.

An outstanding natural phenomenon called the Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis) can be seen in the Arctic region, breaking the latitude of 60 degrees. The highest chances of seeing the Northern Lights in their full glory are from the beginning of October to the end of April.

It is during this time period that the Northern Lights are a strikingly beautiful sight that leaves an indelible impression on the soul of every traveler.

However, the north is also other amazing natural beauty. Dog sledding, skiing and fun winter holidays lovers of such cold exotic will be remembered for a long time.

If you ever get the opportunity to visit a northern country, do not hesitate to take it. Swap your crowded southern resorts for Alaska, Iceland or Norway and you won't regret your choice for a minute.

The beauties of the northern countries amaze with their inaccessibility, grandeur, mystery and cold romance.

Overcoming fears

8. Fight your fears

Some of us live our lives accumulating inside ourselves a whole arsenal of various fears and complexes. As a rule, we see no reason to overcome them, finding constant excuses that they don't bother us at all.

In fact, most of our fears are irrational and unfounded. Many have a fear of loss, others are afraid of loneliness, others are afraid of people and society. All possible fears accumulated inside ourselves affect our life and behavior, often preventing us from achieving our goals.

While a person is in the grip of various fears, his potential does not work at full capacity.

Try to understand that all fears and fears exist only in the head, in your mind. They only seem scary, but in fact they are harmless. Of course, easier said than done, but you will never get rid of your fears if you do not fight them.

Start fighting them right now, from today.

To overcome existing complexes and fears, try talking to a stranger, singing in front of a large audience, skydiving, or calling the guy you like first.

Sometimes we realize that we are thoroughly stuck, that the life that we have is definitely not to our liking. There can be many reasons for this: our relationships can fail, the work we do can get boring, the people we have to deal with can become disgusting, and it can also happen that the thought flashes in the brain like a match that everything that is around - this is far from what we really need.

But regardless of the reasons that prompt you to change, you can start all over again, having previously clarified everything and determined for yourself guidelines and a plan for changing yourself and your life. I sincerely hope that these 15 steps help you start a new life and change yourself.

Step 1. Determine the direction of movement and your motivation.

Your life is always a movement towards a certain goal, regardless of whether you are aware of this goal or not. Your former life, which does not suit you, could be subordinated to someone else's false goal, which contradicted your inner nature, your nature, your desires and your values. For example, you were in a relationship that you didn't really want, or got a job that you were disgusted with, or interacted with people who turned out to be complete strangers to you.

Now you can determine for yourself which trajectory you should move on, now you yourself are the master of your life path. Use the right motivation. Start from "Where am I going?" and not from "Why am I running?". Running away from something is not a useful motivation. Avoiding bad feelings does not solve real problems. Emotions tend to follow you wherever you go. Therefore, you will have to deal with them before you start a truly new life.

How to develop a life strategy

Step 2: Release yourself from the burden of loss or defeat.

Often, serious life events push us to start all over again. Divorce, separation, collapse of career plans, ruin of a business, job loss, health status. All this leaves a serious emotional imprint and can be a source of constant stress, worries, anxiety or even depression. You need to understand that making serious decisions with such baggage is a very dangerous business.

If a life event made you experience deep and strong emotions, then it takes time for everything to calm down. This gap can be reduced if you work through your experiences with the help of within one or more sessions.

Step 3. Explore your life

For the success of your enterprise at the beginning of a new life, it is not enough just to know where you need to move. It is also important to clearly know and clearly understand where you are starting from. Imagine that you are about to make a powerful jump into the water, but you are jumping from a very slippery bank. You spend your strength and energy on a powerful jump, but at the decisive moment you slip and everything goes down the drain.

To prevent this from happening in your story, study your past life (it will also be useful to go through rapid test "Life Analysis"), write down on paper and examine your habits, your past patterns of behavior in different life situations (for example, how you cope with difficulties or react to unexpected opportunities; how much you manage to follow your decisions, etc.).

Probably in the process of studying past life and your behavior, you will notice a lot of things that you would not like to notice, which will cause you rejection and internal resistance. But this is exactly what you should pay attention to in the first place.

“The darkness of low truths is dearer to us than the uplifting deception,” said Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin. What is "low truth"?

They are what you know about yourself, but what to know, and even more so to hear from others, is unpleasant. What you drive from yourself. Things that require thinking make you feel uncomfortable. And in general - to grow. Uplifting deception does not promote growth. Ryaba the Hen is a film about low truths. I think that's why a lot of people don't get it.

Why wasn't Chaadaev accepted, why was he declared insane? Others even today categorically deny it. Although he was largely right. But he talked about "lower truths" that caused a feeling of discomfort, which was not customary to talk about. No one has yet been put in a lunatic asylum for "elevating deceit." And for the "low truths" suffered enough. As a rule, it is for them.

And this is not only in Russia - no one in the world needs a frightening truth. It needs to be hidden. So that few know it and do not allow others to see it ..

Konchalovsky A., Low Truths, M., "Collection" Top Secret ", 1999

Step 4. Examine your values

Before making big and serious decisions about what your new life will be, you should analyze your own life values. If you know what is most important to you, then based on your values, it will be easier for you to make the right decisions about how to start a new life and change yourself.

Take a sheet of paper and write down on it everything that you believe in, everything that you consider the main and important in life, in relationships between people, what things make you think deeply or inspire. Look at what you do in life, what you like to do and ask yourself a simple question: “Why?”, “What is it for?”. The answers you receive can reveal completely unexpected facets of your personality.

You can also look at a few people (these may be living and familiar people, famous personalities or historical characters) that you admire and ask yourself: what do I respect most about them? Why? How can this play out in my own life?

Step 5: Decide what big changes you want to make

For some people, starting a “new life” may mean drastic change: moving to another city or country, complete renewal of social ties, change professional field etc. For others, it may mean small but significant changes, such as letting go of old habits or behaviors and focusing on developing a new way of life. Whatever you want, make sure you understand how big changes You want to do.

Find out what needs to change in your life. For example, is there something that makes you unhappy or dissatisfied? Or can you decide to change every aspect of my life for me, or would it be more appropriate to focus on one or two areas? Remember that change (especially when done without outside support) is always difficult, so start small and work your way up to be successful.

Step 6. Create an image of your new future

Do one useful exercise that will help you figure out what goals and objectives to set for yourself and what changes need to be made. In addition, it will give you the necessary motivation and strengthen your intention to change.

Imagine a certain moment in the future. Let this moment have the exact date and time. Imagine that in this future, you have received the magical power to achieve all your hopes and dreams. You are exactly who you want to be.

Imagine it in as much detail as possible. Who surrounds you? Where do you live? What are you doing? What does it look like? Include as many details as possible to create the clearest possible image. One of my clients imagined that he was a successful designer, he had own studio, interesting orders come to him from all over the world and he travels a lot to other countries, doing interesting and amazing things (in reality, after a couple of years he really founded his studio and began to receive foreign orders).

Now think about your strengths, abilities and skills that are needed to make this vision of the future a reality. What do you already have? What areas need improvement? Be honest with yourself. For example, if you want to be a famous musician, then perhaps you already have musical ability, or at least a love for music. You will also need a stronger mindset to work on improvements.

Using your imagination to create an image of the future, make that image achievable and positive. Obviously, you cannot become a superhero or the owner of any superpowers and super-powers. Here you better think about what attracts you to such a superhero. His desire for justice and defense of the weak? Then you can choose for yourself a profession that contributes to the fulfillment of this mission. Or do you like the ability to make quick and accurate decisions? Then imagine how you should train your thinking to reach that level.

Step 7. Set clear and specific goals

The famous sage Lao Tzu said: a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. And your journey into a new life must also begin with concrete steps. Setting clear personal goals will help you move forward confidently and stay on course to build a new life.

Think about where you see yourself in 6 months, a year, 3 years, 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, 30 years or more.

Set your goals. Make sure they are well-defined goals, that is, they are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and have clear deadlines.

Start by defining your big goal and then break it down into smaller ones. Then break smaller goals into tasks.

For example, if you decide that you want to find your own business and make it a source of your income, this is your overall goal. To achieve it, you will need to achieve smaller goals. For example, the first thing you should do is contact a professional who will help you find the case that suits your purpose (for my clients, this service is included in the program «» ), then you need to draw up a marketing plan and conduct a study of the target audience. Examples of tasks here can be: creating a test product, researching people's needs and their willingness to use this product, studying competitors and their products, analyzing the market, etc. You can split these tasks even further, for example, set yourself the task of communicating with potential customers or going to places where products are sold (services are provided) similar to the product that you are going to give.

Step 8: Determine the necessary internal changes

In order for your project of a new life to be successful, you should think carefully about what internal changes you need to make to your own personality. In other words, you need to define who you BE in order to successfully DO what will allow you to HAVE another life.

Let's take a look at what these internal changes can be.

It can be changes in your physical condition. You may decide that you must enter the new life with a new body. You may want to get rid of excess weight or increase your level of physical fitness, get a more athletic and developed body. Do not forget that excess weight depends on 2 main reasons: slagging of the body and a low level of vital activity.

I recommend that you start by increasing your level of physical activity and do so gradually over time (at least 45 days) to become a habit. You may need the help of a consultant to develop optimal program and change the beliefs and mental attitudes that prevent you from changing your body.

It's easier with change appearance. You can choose your own style or consult with a stylist. Buy new clothes, change your hairstyle. Remember that how you dress and how you look affects how you feel and how others perceive you. Research has proven that when you dress in a way that aligns with your goals, you are more likely to achieve them.

Changes in worldview. It's about famous expression"You can take the girl out of the village, but you can't take the village out of the girl." If you do not want to be this most notorious "girl", then you have to work hard on how you think and how you perceive the world.

Think about what beliefs the person you want to become should have, how this person should perceive the world, people, events, relationships. What principles and rules should it be guided by. Explore the list of ,to get about a completely new way of looking at the world.

Changing your mindset is not an easy process. Force of habit, old patterns and inertia of thought can form the core of your personality. Within the framework of the program «» we do with clients so that a person can see his true nature and find his real self. After this process, any changes in consciousness with the help of any psychotechnics are much faster and easier.

emotional changes. In order for your new life to be prosperous, you need to learn to let go of your past. This includes the ability to forgive. Forgiveness frees you from the burden of past trauma and pain. You forgive others not for them, but for yourself. Research shows that forgiveness makes you feel less angry and anxious. Learn to also accept defeats and losses as part of life, pass them through the "sieve" of awareness and let go. And you will feel great relief.

Change your approach to life using the power of gratitude. Learn to thank life for any of its manifestations, remember that difficulties are on your life path These are trials, not punishments. Accept them as well as all the good things that happen to you.

Research has shown that practicing gratitude makes you feel happier and more content with life; it will help you learn flexibility and adaptability to change; will enhance your physical health and sleep quality, and may help you overcome emotional trauma. Practice the power of gratitude for 5 minutes every day 1 or more times.

Step 9: Rethink your relationship with people

The world is people, and life is relationships between people. It's hard to start a new life if there are "toxic" people in your environment who drag you down. In some cases, it is necessary to "cut" such people out of your life in the interests of your own safety. In other cases, you can simply stop spending time with them, and you will feel happier by removing them from your life.

Interpersonal relationships are critical to your functioning and improvement as a person. Numerous studies show that we strongly influence the people with whom we interact, so when starting a new life, take into it only those people who are important to you and will give you the love and respect that you deserve.

One of my clients, having decided to start a new life and open his own business, faced numerous difficulties, the reasons for which, as it turned out, lay in the fact that his so-called. "friends" were people not inclined to independent actions and taking responsibility. They are used to living a measured, stable and dull life, and by communicating with them, my client involuntarily received nourishment for those parts of his personality that resisted risks and dangers. entrepreneurial activity. In practice, this led to the fact that "business did not move." My client needed a serious rethinking of the role of these people in his life in order for the situation to change and his business to begin to grow and develop.

The following anecdote illustrates this situation very well:

The old devil drowns in hell three boilers with sinners. A young imp is sent to him for practice.

Young Devil. Old Devil teaches him:

- So, look - the first boiler. He must be carefully monitored. The Jews are here. If at least one gets out, he will drag all his own behind him ...

Second boiler. Here you can keep an eye on the lid half-heartedly. The Americans are sitting here, it’s every man for himself, one will run away - it’s not scary, he won’t go far anyway.

You can not look at the third boiler at all. The Russians are here. If at least one climbs up, the rest will seize them and put them in the hottest place.

Clear your space of people:

• with whom you feel empty or constantly stressed
• who constantly criticize or judge you. And you feel like you can't do anything right when you're around them.
• who say bad things about you to your face or behind your eyes
• around whom you do not feel safe sharing your hopes, thoughts, needs or feelings.

Eliminate unhealthy social relations will help you more confidently and many times faster to move forward to a happy and healthy life. Forming a supportive social environment that does not include your past habits is critical to securing your successful way. Surround yourself with people around whom you will grow as a person and develop towards a new life.

Step 10. Start a New Financial Life

Whether you just graduated from college or have been in the business for 30 years, it's never too early or too late to start your financial life over again. You may want to start saving for meaningful life goals, such as buying a house or a comfortable old age. Or maybe you want to rethink your spending habits to stop wasting money left or right. Or maybe you want to invest. Take a look at your goals and decide how you need to manage your money to get what you need.

Try to get rid of all your debts first. Debts - they are from a former life. They have no place in the new life. One of my clients, after our work with her, got rid of 90% of her debts in less than 6 months. If you have more debt than you can pay, then current legislation allows you to go through personal bankruptcy. Perhaps this will be the right option for you.

Then analyze your finances. Structure your income and expenses, start budgeting. See where you can reduce "leaks" (for example, buying unnecessary things), and where you can get extra money (for example, by selling things that you do not use through the avito.ru service). In any case, keeping a budget will tell you good financial decisions.

Step 11. Talk to people

When you decide to start a new life, talking to people who are already living the life you want can be a very helpful move. This is useful because it can give you an idea of ​​how to get there. For example, if you want to give up a boring boring job and do something that you love and that interests you, then you just need to look for those people who have already done business in your favorite business and, for example, take an interview from them, during which ask about their road map. Perhaps one of these people will agree to become your Mentor on the way to a new life.

You can also ask people about difficult moments that may arise in your new life. You may be delusional about a new career, a new relationship, a new business, or a new country. Understanding the smallest details that others will tell you about will allow you to avoid many mistakes and wrong movements.

For example, you may dream of leaving your boring job in Moscow and moving to Bali, where life is paradise. If you interact with people who already live there, you may discover things you don't know about, like how incredibly expensive it is, unfriendly visa policies, health care issues, difficulty engaging in activities that require concentration. Of course, this does not mean that you should not move, but this knowledge will help you better adapt to the realities of a new life.

Step 12: Get Support

Starting a new life can be a daunting prospect. Surround yourself with people who love and respect you and who can help and support you on your journey. Knowing that you have sources of emotional support will help you feel much stronger as you face the realities of your new life.

If you do not have family or reliable comrades who can support you, then it makes sense to look for such support elsewhere. This may be support within interest groups or communities or even religious communities. Go where people freely and openly communicate with each other and make new acquaintances.

Step 13: Test Yourself

Large life changes, which are necessary to start a new life will require serious work, dedication and patience from you. This can be stressful and intimidating. Make sure you are ready for this. How are you feeling? What kind of behavior is acceptable to you? Are you worried about something? Keeping a diary will help you understand your emotions and determine if there are areas where you need more support or need deep work.

The process of serious and profound changes in life can often cause feelings of depression. You may start to feel sad, stop enjoying certain things, feel anxious or guilty, feel empty or hopeless. In this case, quickly and painlessly you can help . Work on this technology allows you to eliminate negative emotional sensations during one session.

Step 14: Make the necessary changes

A new life will not mean that difficulties, obstacles and problems will disappear forever. Starting a new career does not mean that you will never again feel unappreciated or uninspired. Moving to a new city or new country does not mean you will never miss home. When you have problems, acknowledge them as such and do what you need to do to resolve them and adapt to the situation.

You may face a lot of difficulties on your way to a new life. For example, perhaps you wanted to pursue a military career to follow your values ​​of service and honor, but found out you were not healthy enough to go to military school. You could see this as the failure and collapse of your dream, or you could go back to the drawing board and see if there are other things you can do that will also allow you to express those core values.

Step 15: Work with a consultant

Even if you don't think anything is going "wrong" in the process of building your new life, it can be helpful to reach out to a counselor or personal trainer, especially when it comes to making major changes. The fact is that such a difficult process as starting a new life and changing oneself can contain a variety of mistakes and hidden obstacles that can only be seen from the outside. A good consultant is able to give you a quality feedback and save you from wasting time, effort and resources.

Another point is that deep personal changes are always accompanied by stress and internal resistance (self-sabotage). Sometimes they are so strong that they give up and lose all desire to move forward. With the help of a consultant, you can work through and get rid of internal fears that block changes. The consultant can also help you find out helpful ways thinking and responding to challenges.

Seeking a counselor is a sure sign that you love yourself and take care of yourself enough to get help when it's needed and helpful, and that's good news. A personality change consultant is to you what a dentist is to your teeth: You fix minor problems and complexities before they become catastrophic.

Start a new life today!

After reading this article, you may decide: “OK, this is all great! I will definitely take these recommendations into account and even begin to follow some of them.” But the fact is that the process of change is a systemic process, where everything is clearly connected with each other and each step affects the other. It is important not to make a mistake here.

Do you want to know how to start a new life in which there will be self-realization, high meaning, activity, motivation, strength, leadership, new discoveries, energy, exciting changes, interesting game, new horizons, pleasure from the lived moment, a clear understanding of one's own path, the absence of self-sabotage and uncertainty, clarity of intention and action? And at the same time, you will not make gross mistakes and avoid many “pitfalls”, and the journey itself will take several months instead of decades.

Then . I will give you a solution!

Hello dear readers! Today I would like to talk about a new life in the new year. How many times have each of us promised ourselves that we would start living differently next year? Lose weight, go in for sports, pay off loans, learn how to save and much more. But if you are reading this article, it means that you did not succeed. There are a lot of similar articles on the Internet. But what makes my approach different from others? What I am going to offer you I have tried on myself!

Summing up

First of all, you should look at yourself in the past. Talking about the need to be able to say goodbye to the past takes place when you understand where to actually go. While the future is still a little foggy for us, I will tell you how to get rid of the fog later, we will deal with the past with you.

Look at your life from the outside and think about what you don't like and what specific things you would like to change. Remember your mistakes, wrong decisions. At what point did you struggle because you didn't know what to do. Remember everything. Since childhood.

This, by the way, will help you decide on your favorite pastime.
When, if not in childhood, we do what we like. It is as a child that we choose the most interesting activity. Remember everything. Everything that comes to mind - write it down, otherwise you will forget. Memory is an unreliable thing.

Thus, you should have before your eyes a sheet of paper or a document in a Word, where you described your entire past self. All your pros and cons. Good and bad qualities. Your work, hobbies, unfulfilled dreams and more.

Making a list

Now it's time for the list. A list where you write down all the things you want to do in the future, what you want to be, change jobs, find a hobby, find a soul mate, get a cat or a dog. Write even the most stupid and stupid thoughts, then we will mark it all.

Your list doesn't have to follow any rules. Whatever comes to mind, write it down. Fly into space, learn to write with your left foot, learn the language of dogs. It doesn't matter how crazy the idea seems to be right now. In the future, you can fish out a wonderful lesson from it that will bring you wild pleasure.

This is where you write down what kind of person you want to become. More sociable, punctual, logical or something else. How to achieve this, do not think yet. Just write. Describe your ideal self. How would you like to see yourself at fifty?

Structuring

After you finish writing the list, you need to start structuring this very list. Break all your entries into categories: personal qualities and self-development, work, hobbies and hobbies. You may end up with more categories, such as relationships with your spouse. They should also be included in a separate category.

After categorizing, you can start reviewing your entries for realism. The goal and task must be achievable, otherwise they pass into the category of fantasy. Read your list and look for such things. For example, if you have "I want to learn to fly", then this is an unrealistic goal. But "learn to fly a paraglider" or "ride a hot-air balloon” are quite realistic and achievable tasks. So go through the entire list. Of all your goals, you must formulate specific task. You are unlikely to succeed in becoming a real Harry Potter, but to arrange role play on the subject of Pottery quite.

Also, your goals must be achievable. Losing weight is an indefinite goal. But to lose ten kilograms, what you need. In the goal itself, the result should be clearly traced. Not just to become more sociable, but to learn how to make acquaintances, make new friends.

If you have a long-term goal, for example, to become successful, then try to paint it as much as possible. What do you mean by successful? Maybe earn a hundred thousand rubles a month or buy a business class car? Or maybe start a family and have children. Be specific. Break down into smaller goals. Set intermediate results.

Or your goal is to become beautiful. This is a completely non-specific, unattainable and unrealistic goal. Break it down into points: grow your hair and learn how to do hairstyles, go to make-up and styling courses, change your wardrobe, and so on.

Time frame

When you understand that all your goals are achievable, realistic and specific, then proceed to the next step. Setting time frames. Every goal must have its beginning, middle and end. It cannot be that the task is endless.

For example, take the goal of becoming successful. If you carefully read the previous paragraph, you already know that such a paragraph should be divided into tasks. That's just such tasks and have a time frame. If you have a point to buy a car there - set a date when you can buy such a car.

Always remember that our internal clock and real time are in different universes. A task you put off for a month can actually take six months or two days. This will be especially pronounced if you have not done this before and you have no experience.

If you've never played the guitar, but you have a point of learning how to play it, give yourself a few deadlines. Learn basic chords in a month. Learn to play simple melodies in two months. Learn all the chords in six months. In a year, learn to select music by ear.

Remember that changing the time frame later is not good. If you always think that if you fail, you can simply move the deadline forward, then the task will never be completed. You must clearly understand that you have two weeks to search for Spanish courses. And it is during these two weeks that you should find suitable courses. And not a day more!

Carrot and stick

It can be very difficult at first. One of my goals was to get up earlier. And at first I just could not unstick myself from the bed. So warm and inviting. Then I came up with a punishment for myself - every day that I woke up later means plus ten minutes to get up earlier tomorrow. And soon I began to get up by myself without an alarm clock.

The motivation system is very helpful for those who can't pull themselves together. For those who do not have inner strength. But remember this: if you couldn’t do something, then this is not your goal and task. It can be anyone's, but not yours. If you still haven't found a course in English then you don't need it. This may be necessary for your mother, boss or girlfriend, but not for you.

Those tasks and goals that we cannot do in any way, most likely do not belong to us. You must understand the difference between the words "I want" and "I need to." Your goals and objectives should come from the word "want". Then the success is more real.

Think of a reward and punishment system for yourself. Set aside fifty, a hundred or a thousand rubles for each completed task. Which then you will be happy to spend on yourself. As a punishment, you can give this money to a friend or mother. Here you know what will spur you on and scare you.

When to start?

Right today. That's what I did when I realized that I wanted to speak Spanish. I just got up the next morning and found a tutor. Here they are forty minutes of happiness, three times a week. If you have goals that you can start implementing now, then don't put them off until next year.

New Year is always considered the main Monday from which people start a new life. Forget about it. The more often you say to yourself: “That’s it, I’ll definitely start this Monday!”, The more you will save. Start doing something today.
You can choose the smallest and most pleasant task. From the implementation of which, you will enjoy. Add more and more goals and objectives, do not forget about the time frame. Thus, you will be drawn in and this process will become automatic.

Do not feel sorry for yourself and do not lament the fact that nothing works out and so on. Pull yourself together and start working hard on yourself and on achieving your goals. There is no magic pill in the world that will help you wake up as a princess or a king. This requires a hell of a job. My article will help a lot in this direction.

I am sure that you will cope with everything that you have planned for yourself. Do not listen to anyone who tells you that you are wasting time or doing this for nothing. It's your life and only you can decide how to spend it. precious time. Remember that there are always a lot of envious people and ill-wishers around who want you, like everyone else, to sit on the priest evenly and not strive for anything.

Move forward and you will succeed!

You can’t even imagine how much of your life energy you spend on preserving what is high time to let go! We spend about half of all our strength on keeping the “old”, something that has long since become obsolete and it’s time to let go!

What's the first thing that pops into your head?

Is it a relationship that brings pain and disappointment? Or a job where you sit a lot of time, and nothing makes you happy there? Old clothes waiting for you to "bounce back"?

Whatever it is, you will determine it by your feelings. Just mentally imagine what worries you, what you think about and worry about most often. For example, you think about your relationship with your partner often and for a long time. That he does not give you enough time, cares little about you or the children, or demands a lot from you.

Your feelings of dissatisfaction and anxiety tell you that it is time to give up, for example, your old patterns of behavior that led to this situation. Make time for this. And look what exactly in your behavior, words, thoughts does not allow you to improve the situation?

Perhaps you are instantly offended by some words and reactions of your partner, become tense and move away from him? Instead of finding out what's really behind it all. Ask him: “What do you want now, I looked at it differently. Tell me how you see the situation?

Fear of change

It's amazing how two processes are connected in life in a tight knot: fear and the inevitability of change! Have you ever experienced the fear that you have absolutely nothing to rely on in life? That is why we hold on so tightly to what is in life and what we are afraid to change. We even have a proverb: “a titmouse in the hands is better than a crane in the sky” and the expression “better than nothing”.

Everything in life and in the Universe has birth, flourishing, fading, death, transformation. There are things, relationships, a person, thoughts, feelings, sensations… If we are very happy about the appearance of something, then we can also rejoice at the disappearance. There is always transformation behind death.

For example, your favorite blouse, in which you were dazzlingly good at first, becomes unusable over time, and this is understandable and right! Although it happens that we hold on to our favorite things for a long time. "What if there's nothing else?"

Look at your wardrobe: what should be thrown away? And, probably, many have noticed how, after getting rid of old things, something new easily appears, and most importantly, it immediately becomes “easier to breathe”.

It's the same with relationships!

What are you holding on to in your relationship that you should have thrown away a long time ago? For example, the unshakable belief that you are always right!

Or the thought that they want to offend you? Or your ability to put off important things and conversations until later? "Well, I'll talk about it later!" and you wait for the next conflict. And then you say that no one wants to listen to you!

We hold on to the old in order to feel stable and calm. Everything that is familiar to us (and it does not matter: with a plus sign or a minus sign) is a bastion of stability for us. We do not want change, we are afraid of it.

Not in all areas of your life, but in the most vulnerable, where you are least confident in yourself. And, holding on to the old, we limit our ability to become stronger and more confident here!

Of course, most often it has to do with relationships. Clients often tell me that, secretly from their husband, they signed up for a training. “He won’t approve anyway, he doesn’t take psychology seriously: it’s just a waste of money for him.”

And very often then these same husbands say to them: “Something you haven’t been to the training for a long time. Go! You then become so affectionate and calm! If these women hadn't started doing something new, nothing would have changed in their lives..

I'll tell a story...

Let me tell you a story about a young and very attractive woman. She was married and very quickly realized that she was not the person she dreamed of. He did not want to work, controlled her and insulted her.

When he began to raise his hand to the child, she thought, "what else needs to happen for me to end our relationship?" She had already endured too long until the “last”. Now she is raising a child, studying to be a psychologist and building a whole new relationship.

This ability to endure “until the last” and wait for the “third call” only exacerbates the situation.. Relatively speaking, it begins to “rot” and you immediately feel it: irritation, discontent, confusion ... A clear feeling that this situation is NOT YOURS! What else do you want in your life! So you are holding on to something that needs to go out of your life.

Everything has a cycle

It is important to observe it and see your pluses at each stage. The stage of death of something prepares us for something definitely better: something has been passed in life, you need to make room for something new, this is an opportunity to develop yourself and open new horizons! For relationships, this may be the end of one period and the beginning of a new one.

For example, you want to end the period of conflicts and endless showdown with your partner. Then you put an end to it by saying to yourself and your partner: “I want to start a new period in our relationship.

How can we clarify the situation and our relationship without quarrels and resentment, but respecting each other's opinions. I am ready to listen to your opinion with respect. Everything you think and feel is very important to me. And I want the same from you."

There are no guarantees that everything will work right away. It is important not to give up, but to go for the relationship that you want. Provided that your partner wants the same. Time after time moving towards your goal!

Celebrating the successes and positive changes in both of you. And this is something new that will radically improve your life, bring more confidence and happiness into your relationship. Remember how you learned to walk? Here the same laws.

Let something new into your life! Ventilate your “room” and breathe in fresh air! Let go of what has long outlived its own: old thoughts, old attitudes, old relationships, the old view of yourself and your world. Ask yourself the question: “what new and beautiful do I want in my life?” And just get started! In a new way!!