Conscious. “Dad said: “Fat must be removed - men do not like fat people”

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Love is a mysterious feeling: it can flare up on the very first date, or it can smolder for years, only to flare up like a bright fire. But in every relationship there is that very moment when you realize that it is with this person that you are ready to live your whole life.

• My boyfriend lives 2,000 km from me, 2 days away. A week ago I did not answer calls and SMS (sleep). The next day, at night, my missus rang into my apartment. I was afraid that something happened to me.
• It was only recently that I finally realized how much I was loved.
  My man hates to sew, but, seeing how tired I was of working seven days a week, he hemmed my dress for a corporate party. Concentrated like that, sticking out his tongue from the tension and muttering something under his breath, like a real seamstress.
• The girl is snoring like a drunken sailor. I can't sleep forever. But somehow she went to her mother for a week - I realized that now I miss her snoring ... I don’t get enough sleep. At the weekend I went to her, slept at least.

• Girl, 21 years old. I've been terribly lazy all my adult life. They always quarreled with my parents because of my laziness, I never cooked or cleaned, I always got out of bed to wild screams and took on household chores with tears. Fell in love a year ago. And - voila - I get up easily in the morning, flutter around the apartment, with good mood and with songs I cook delicious hot dinners, the houses are always clean, things are washed and ironed. Parents are not overjoyed, they are afraid to jinx it and quietly pray that they would take me in marriage.
• The first guy broke up because after a shift at work, she didn’t cook a 3-course dinner. She left the second one a week before the wedding, because she did not help his mother with strawberries. He did not care that I had a terrible allergy to this berry. Recently they started living together with a friend of their youth, it's about the wedding. Sometimes I come after 10 pm from work. The house is clean, dinner is heated, he makes tea. And no matter how lazy I am, I want to cook 3 dishes for him and go to my parents for potatoes.
• My normal temperature is very high, my palms sweat a lot. I was always very embarrassed about this, I wanted to fail out of shame when they said: “Your hands are too sweaty.” But my boyfriend at our first meeting said that, as mentioned in Romeo and Juliet, hot and wet hands are a sign of sensuality and he really likes it.

• My husband sometimes talks in his sleep. Late one evening I am reading a book in bed, my husband is already asleep, and then I hear that he is having a funny dialogue with someone: “I love her very much. Everyone would like a wife like mine. Just don't even look in her direction! However, I got married well.
• I've been afraid of spiders since the very moment when my stepfather locked me in the basement, and this muck crawled along the walls and over me. Friends and the girl were joking about this topic, and he was very infuriated himself, so he wanted to be treated, but it didn’t work out. It pissed me off until I started dating someone else, admitted to having a phobia. As a result, now she catches the spiders that I sometimes see on the walls, and calms me down, and I think where to hide the ring so that I don’t find it ahead of time.
• I am a tetradophile: I love paper stationery in all its manifestations, but I have the greatest passion for notebooks in a cage on a paper clip and always with 48 sheets. There must be a perfect design inside and out. Every time I choose a new favorite for myself, I count the sheets in it, because I'm afraid that she is not "virgin". My girlfriend found me doing this lesson, who had to explain everything, to which she calmly replied that she loves pencils. As a result, we stuck in the bookstore for an hour and a half. Love her. And notebooks.

• I'm on a diet. At home, except for rice, there was nothing left. At midnight I called my beloved (we live separately for now) and said that I was dying of hunger, I could not sleep. He coldly replied that he had to get up early for work tomorrow, that he could not speak. And after 30 minutes he brought me a piece of cake, sandwiches and scolded me for diets.
• I'm obsessed with spelling and grammar. One day, a dispute ensued with some guy who writes as if he had never seen a Russian language textbook in his life. It turned out that he, like me, is obsessed, but only in mathematics. For a long time they insulted each other in every possible way, teased each other on this topic. As a result, we came to an agreement that we would pull each other up, I him - in Russian and literature, he me - in physics and mathematics. Well, that's how it was, pulled up. Together for the fourth year, recently proposed. Marriage is soon.
• I have jet black hair and very pale skin, if I paint my eyes brightly, I look like a real witch. I was riding the subway, an old lady comes in, looks at me and starts to cross herself. I decided to play tricks, began to pretend that I was conjuring, and began to make magical movements with my hands. The boy sitting next to me crossed the chip and began to shake, roll his eyes, saying that he felt that something was moving into him, the grandmother was in shock, I could hardly contain my laughter, the people in the car were choking with laughter. At my station, a guy ran out after me. We have been married for 5 years, at the wedding the first toast was for a superstitious grandmother in the subway!

Human life can be of two kinds - unconscious and conscious. The former refers to a life that is governed reasons; under the second - life, which is controlled purpose.

A life governed by causes can rightly be called unconscious, because, although consciousness participates in human activity, it does not determine where this activity can be directed.

A life controlled by a goal should be called conscious, because consciousness in this case is the dominant, determining principle. It belongs to him to choose where the complex chain of human actions should go.

However, often a person acts thoughtlessly, and sometimes he himself cannot understand why he did so. Unconscious actions suggest that a person acts on an internal impulse, but without any analysis of the situation, without clarifying the possible consequences. The words he uses to characterize this state are different - thoughtlessly, unconsciously, spontaneously, intuitively. All these words act in this case as synonyms for the word "unconscious", although, of course, there is no complete synonymy here.

The study of the phenomenon of the unconscious goes into deep antiquity, it was recognized in their practice by healers of the earliest civilizations. For Plato, the recognition of the existence of the unconscious served as the basis for the creation of a theory of knowledge based on the reproduction of what is in the depths of the human psyche.

In the second half of the 19th century, the search for the therapeutic use of hypnosis was widely developed. Two centers in France have acquired particular fame - one in Paris under the direction of the famous psychiatrist Janet, the other in Nancy under the direction of Bernheim. These centers competed with each other, and each sought to amaze visitors with an unusual experiment.

One day, Dr. Bernheim suggested to the subject that after he was brought out of a hypnotic trance, he should take the umbrella of one of the guests, open it and walk twice back and forth on the veranda. When the man woke up, he took the umbrella as he was told, and although he did not open it, he left the room, walked twice back and forth on the veranda, and then returned to the room. When asked to explain his strange behavior, he replied that he was breathing air. He insisted that he was in the habit of walking like this sometimes. When asked why he had someone else's umbrella, he was extremely astonished and hastily returned the object to the hanger.

The facts of polyhypnotic suggestion have long been known to specialists, but the young Viennese physician Sigmund Freud (1856-1939), who observed this phenomenon during his visit to Nancy in 1899, served as the basis for a discovery that revolutionized science. Freud was struck precisely by the fact that a person did something for a reason unknown to him, but later came up with plausible explanations for his actions. The man with the umbrella tried to explain his strange behavior with completely rational considerations and spoke quite sincerely. Isn't that how other people find reasons to justify their actions? Although it has long been noted that the explanations that people give to their actions are not always trustworthy. Freud made this observation the cornerstone of the theory of human behavior.

According to Freud, traumatic events and the violent experiences associated with them do not completely disappear from the psyche, but are forced out into the sphere of the unconscious, from where they actively influence the psyche, manifesting themselves in a disguised (encrypted) form, in particular, in the form of neurotic symptoms (for example, in obsessive washing hands, in unfounded fears, etc.). Neurotic symptoms in this case are understood as compromise phenomena that arise as a result of the collision of violent experiences and drives that are repressed into the unconscious sphere with the requirements of our conscience, which coincide with generally accepted moral norms. Similar compromises, according to Freud, are expressed in dreams and erroneous actions (slips of the tongue, typos, etc.) of people.

Treatment (elimination) of neurotic symptoms, according to psychoanalysis, should be carried out by bringing to light and judgment of the patient himself the material repressed from his consciousness that traumatizes his psyche. The patient himself (albeit with the unobtrusive help of a psychoanalyst) must decipher, understand the hidden meaning of what is happening to him. To help the patient in reaching an understanding of the causes of the disease, Freud used the technique of free association specially developed by him. Having laid the patient in a position of bodily relaxation that is convenient for him and sitting down so that the patient does not see him (an additional circumstance that embarrasses the patient is eliminated - the appearance of the doctor, especially his eyes), the psychoanalyst asks the patient to freely express everything that comes to his mind ...

The patient's statements, the manner in which he speaks, delays in the flow of associations, etc. - the material on the basis of which the psychoanalyst seeks, firstly, to understand the causes of the patient's ailments himself, and secondly, to unobtrusively help the patient in deciphering the meaning of what is happening with him. Final goal psychoanalytic therapy - the establishment of the dominance of consciousness over the sphere of the mental unconscious.

The famous Russian philosopher of the 20th century, S. Frank, wrote that life cannot be an end in itself, if only because suffering and burdens prevail in it over joys and pleasures. And despite all the strength of the animal instinct of self-preservation, we often wonder why we should pull this heavy strap. Life is not about staying still in yourself, but about doing something or striving for something. The moment in which we do nothing and strive for nothing, we experience as a painfully dreary state of emptiness and uncertainty. We cannot live only for life; we always live for something (and) for someone.

Some of the writers noticed an analogy between way of life and the road chosen by the traveler. You set off on a journey with definite plans, with a definite purpose, self-confident and like a tourist who has bought a railway ticket. And then suddenly it turns out that you found yourself in a completely different place, far from the goal.

Why is this happening? Yes, because some rather abruptly change the route, having met wealth on their way, others - having discovered talent or (and) fame, still others cannot withstand the burden of life's hardships. It turns out that the rich man is too attached to his possessions, to his money; an intelligent person is sometimes too attached to ideas, to the desire to achieve them.

Philosopher V. Rozanov believes that a person always follows the path to his happiness, but this remains invisible to him when he is embraced by any idea - legal, political, religious or some other.

However, for the sake of truth or faith, a person is ready to go even to the stake, if he is really so attached to this truth and faith that it is easier for him not to live than to live without them.

The theme of man's pursuit of his own happiness and the search for truth continues in the next section, "Head or empty bowler hat?" In this story you can find good examples concepts of unconscious and conscious life, as well as illustrative illustrations of S. Frank's thesis that "life is not a motionless stay in itself."

QUESTIONS

1. What is called the unconscious life and what is the conscious life? Why?

2. Do you agree with the opinion of S. Frank that the moment when we do nothing and strive for nothing is experienced as a painfully dreary state of emptiness and uncertainty? Please, justify your opinion in detail.

The age of early youth is a transitional stage for a person from childhood to adulthood. It occurs at the edge of the usual school life and new unknown paths. Typical for this period are such feelings as responsibility to oneself and loved ones, fear of the possibility of choice and mistakes.

Aspect of self-determination

One of critical aspects self-consciousness is self-determination. It is divided into personal and professional. The first poses the question to the high school student: “What to be?”. This aspect determines the character, abilities and personal qualities student as an individual. The second poses a question for a person: “Who to be?”. The student is trying to determine his own interests, trying to feel what kind of activity he is most attracted to.

The aspect of self-determination can also include the existence of a life plan. A blurry sense of time, the inability to see oneself in the future, the fear of change - all this indicates a low level of self-awareness. By the end of the school, the student should clearly see his abilities, be able to mobilize internal resources and focus on one activity. This helps a person enter adulthood, start working or studying in a specialty. If this is not possible for the individual, then he chooses negative samples behavior: alcoholism, drugs, immoral or idle lifestyle.

Personal aspect

There are three components to the personal aspect of self-consciousness. First, it's self-respect. The degree of acceptance by a person of himself as a person can be both high and low. With a successful alignment of events, the new society accepts a person as he presents himself. Otherwise, both students and work colleagues can take advantage of a vulnerable person.

Secondly, self-reflection plays an important role in self-consciousness. A person cannot be aware of the world around without understanding his inner world. It is possible that in the period of early youth, interest in oneself and one's uniqueness will be increased.

Thirdly, self-regulation is of particular importance. A person entering society must understand and accept the norms of behavior. Control over emotions and one's own state in a critical situation indicates how conscious a person is.

Moral aspect

The moral aspect of self-consciousness includes two categories. Moral stability is the ability to be guided in behavior by one's own views and beliefs. The formation of a worldview is the emergence of a more or less clear picture of the world, the systematization of one's own beliefs on certain issues.

self-knowledge - this is a person's ability, his ability and ability to objectively look at himself with the aim of subsequent self-development, that is, the improvement of his own potential on their own.

The process of self discovery and self-development personality is long, often occupies the entire conscious life. However, for this process to begin, it must be need this person.

Man develops spiritually when, he seeks to know his true essence, as a person, tries to evaluate himself by comparing with people around him, public opinion accumulated knowledge about the meaning of life and understanding of being.

Knowing his true potential and desires, a person improves his personality, improves the quality of life, thoughts, and thoughts. Makes conscious efforts to coordinate the needs of his personality and the preferences of the soul, reveal his creative potential, search for true love for himself and the world around him.

Reasons for the lack of need for spiritual development among contemporaries

1. Modern man too much obsessed with his life: pays a lot of attention to study,
work, family, opportunities to receive money, social and career growth. In the frantic rhythm of life, the race for material goods, not everyone has time to be alone with themselves and think about what he is like as a person.

2. Consumer attitude to life, desire for wealth form the mass media among the population: the Internet, television programs and printed publications, mainly through advertising. Trusting all these sources and the life ideals imposed by them, it is difficult for a person to understand what information he needs for further self-development.

3. They do not arouse in people an interest in spiritual development and, insecurity, anxiety, suppressed desires, lack of love, muscle tension, pain, nervous breakdowns, dissatisfaction and fatigue that accompany their material aspirations.

4. Social institutions state is not enough motivate people to the knowledge of their true essence and life purpose, to the formation of spiritual and moral qualities.

5. It is difficult for those people who are ready for spiritual development to navigate in mass offers. various systems self-knowledge and spiritual development of a person but, such as yoga, qigong, Sufi and Slavic practices, reiki, cosmic energy, etc.

It turns out vicious circle: lack of interest in spiritual development leads to a bleak and
the eternal race to meet their material needs, stress and illness, and the desire to arrange a life and achieve prosperity and wealth does not bring a person spiritual and moral satisfaction.

Consequences of an unspiritual lifestyle

lack of spirituality is the problem of our modern times. There are many callous people, incapable of sympathy and compassion, with a low culture of behavior.

Since the content of a person's thoughts and feelings forms the specifics of his behavior and attitude to the surrounding reality, the selfishness, immorality, cynicism and commercialism of an unspiritual person give cruelty and aggressiveness to his behavior. For the sake of personal gain, unspiritual people are ready to commit even grave crimes. But the loss of spirituality is the loss of the spirit, the soul!

It is a pity that in the pursuit of all sorts of material goods, people forget about the highest human values.

No need V self-knowledge and spiritual development has a negative impact on health person. Due to dissatisfaction with their material life, constant stress, people get sick.

The number of diseases such as AIDS, cardiovascular
diseases, tuberculosis, etc.

The body of a person, through illness, teaches to turn to his soul and spirit, which are one with him. The body never deceives, because it is an instrument of the influence of the spirit (God) on a person. If the balance between the spiritual and material development of a person, the illness of the body calls him to engage in self-knowledge, to reflect on what mistakes he makes. Mistakes necessary realize and try will fix b.

But people don't believe it. My friend has . She is very critical, accusing everyone of her husband, who was once unfaithful to her, and her daughter for petty insults, and the leaders of her organization for unfair treatment of her and low wages, and neighbors for noise, and the government for the miserable incomes of the population . Anger and a sense of sacrifice led to a dangerous illness, but she does not want to reconsider her views on life, much less forgive everyone and everyone individually, and above all, herself.

In addition to the growth of deadly diseases, the consequence of the lack of spirituality of some of our citizens is, to put it mildly, immorality.

So, recently, looking through Yandex statistics on user requests with the words “spiritual development” (there were 48,000 of them in a month), I asked what worries the public the most. It turned out - sex, requests - more than 41 million per month. This is understandable, but I was shocked by the number of views of various sexual perversions - 37.5 million, 91% of the total number of views with the word “sex”. These were queries like: sex videos, photos, porn, kinky sex with animals, group sex, gays, etc. And only 3.5 million users were interested in cognitive information about sex.

What kind of spiritual development can we talk about? It seemed to me that the world has gone crazy if the majority are interested in sexual perversion!

Time demands to turn to spiritual development

Meanwhile, time is running forward, and requires a person to turn to spiritual development, which involves the desire to know oneself, to harmony with the inner self and the world around.

It is known that in the material world the right of the stronger and more strong-willed acts, and in the spiritual plane the strongest is unconditional love and forgiveness. It is difficult for people to understand that the energy of love gives inner strength over the strong in the material world.

Love contributes to the harmonious development of the soul and physical body.

In order to improve, to strive to become an integral, highly developed personality, a person needs to competently find a balance between the development of his spiritual and material world. You can not wallow in materialism to the detriment of spirituality. This does not mean that while engaging in his spiritual development, a person should forget about the material, physical needs of his body. We must look for the "golden mean".

So, self-knowledge and spiritual development of a person- this is our internal work on the perception of ourselves as a unity of spirit, soul and body, the gradual transformation of our plans, needs of the soul and desires in accordance with the divine principle.

The human spirit follows the divine will, it is balanced and wise, and observes how a person copes with the concept of God and finding God in himself.

Are there tools for spiritual development with which a person could engage in self-development and self-improvement?

Yes, there are various interpretations in the description of the instruments of spiritual development. I propose to dwell on the most important and understandable.

Love- the most important "tool" and the driving force of spiritual development. It inspires us to the most fantastic achievements and reveals the best sides our soul.

spiritual reading allows you to study sacred texts, philosophical and psychological works, as well as research in the field of human knowledge - a science that combines knowledge about the reasonable and harmonious existence of a person in three worlds: physical, mental and spiritual.

meditation is the balancing of the three human bodies: physical, emotional and mental with the help of yoga, qigong and other personal development practices.

Prayers, cleansing the physical nature of a person and calming emotions. They are able to heal spiritual wounds with their grace.

Spiritual practices- aimed at developing a culture of thought and body, controlling emotions, harmonizing the external and internal world of a person.

healing practices- using vital energy for self-healing and self-healing.

Creation- musical, artistic, poetic, writing, highly professional, improves a person's life.

Harmonious music- sets the soul to love and happiness, reveals emotional deep feelings, heals, heals.

The Art of Dance connects subtle bodily sensations with the delight of movement and rhythm, beauty and grace.

The listed tools are not exhaustive methods and ways of personal and spiritual growth. Look for ways of spiritual development that are acceptable to you, master them and improve yourself!

Each person has his own way of self-knowledge and spiritual self-improvement.

Filling your every action with love, and responsibly fulfilling your daily duties with a sense of joy and vital excitement, you will certainly contribute to your development, regardless of age, religion and social status.

Good luck in self-knowledge and spiritual growth!

Anorexia and bulimia are eating disorders (EDD) that have a reputation as "podium diseases". Anna Carolina Reston, sisters Maria and Katie Campbell, Hila Elmaliah - the names of models who died of anorexia can be listed for a long time. Known under the pseudonym Twiggy, model Leslie Hornby, sometimes called the “founder of the fashion for reeds”, after long, debilitating hunger strikes, became a victim of bulimia: hunger gave way to uncontrollable bouts of gluttony, which one day almost killed her. There are many such stories, and more and more “on this side” of monitors. Right now, your acquaintances, friends, relatives may be suffering from an eating disorder and need help. Most often, instead, they receive “priceless” advice: “you are very thin - eat more”, “you are fat - you need to eat less and move more”, “you are skinny - go to the gym”, “you weigh a lot - run”, "Just don't do it, where is your will power?". But what does it feel like to actually be bulimic? Natasha Palalo has been struggling with her illness for more than 11 years, and she told how and why her illness began.

KYKY: Natasha, what do we need to know about you?

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Natasha Palalo: I am 23 years old, now I suffer from bulimia. For a very long time. At the age of 12, I decided to lose weight. At first it was just diets, and then I got anorexia, which then turned into bulimia. It happens, and often.

KYKY: At the age of 12, did you decide that you were unhappy with your appearance?

N.P.: Yes. My dad told me I was fat. From the moment I heard this, the perception of my figure has changed, although I somehow didn’t think about it before. There was discontent that prompted me to start starving. I remember this moment very well. We were driving in a car, he grabbed my leg and said: “Look, all this fat needs to be removed, do you understand that men don’t like fat people?” Yes, maybe I was overweight: at that time I weighed 72 kg with a height of 164, but I loved myself like that! And then everything turned upside down.

KYKY: What is your relationship with your father now? Did you tell your mom about it?

N.P.: Cold. I try to maintain a relationship, but we get some superficial ones: “Hi, how are you?” The most interesting thing is that as soon as I started having problems with eating behavior, dad only says that I need to gain everything, they say, I'm not sexy enough today - in general, I'm again dissatisfied with me. Mom knew about it, but she always thought I was attractive. It seems to me that she did not take her father's words seriously and could not even think what consequences they could lead to. On this moment I live with my grandmother, my mother died five years ago.

KYKY: The father appeals to the child with the category of "sexuality". It turns out that for more than 10 years you have been on various diets in one way or another?

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N.P.: As far as I can remember my father, he only appeals with this category. For the last two years, he has been pushing me for breast augmentation surgery, saying, "I'm telling you like a man." Yes, I am constantly on diets, I no longer know how it is to eat balanced and right. I forgot how.

KYKY: Did your mom's death affect your "breakdowns"?

N.P.: Yes. I began to have a sharp deterioration, if I used to break down once or twice a month, since then I have reached 10-13 breakdowns a day. It was scary. I go to the refrigerator, I eat everything I see at home, then I get ready and go to the store, I buy anything, I bring it home, I lock myself in some room, I start to absorb everything, then I go to the toilet and induce vomiting. Or after I empty the whole house, I go shopping at McDonald's, I overeat in the car, I return home and cleanse my stomach.

KYKY: How are your relationships with men now?

N.P.: Difficult. When I am next to a man, I have a constant feeling of my insignificance, as if no man would want me. And if he wants to, then out of pity or the need for a primitive satisfaction of his needs. Very difficult.

KYKY: Have you sought psychological help?

N.P.: I have worked with a lot of psychologists. But my condition only worsened. I do not know what it is connected with. I was about to be hospitalized. Today no one works with me, I try to cope with it myself. I decided that now (considering the terrible state in which I was), I could definitely handle it myself. I want to become healthy.

KYKY: Explain what bulimia is Everyday life? What specific problems are you facing?

N.P.: Bulimia is a terrible addiction. I can overeat all day long until I get terrible stomach pains, run to the toilet to induce vomiting, overeat laxatives. Round. I can buy tons of food. Don't leave the house when you're depressed. The body becomes very weak, there is no strength for anything, the condition of the teeth has worsened, the skin is dry. The state of mind affects relationships with loved ones, productivity. You think of nothing but go out to eat and cleanse yourself so as not to gain weight. There are a lot of problems.

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KYKY: I saw a video where you say that you are afraid to go to the store even for bread, because you buy everything in a row and eat it. How do you deal with it?

N.P.: Now I try to avoid these provocative moments. It may seem strange, but the camera saves me. I just turn on the camera and think that if I break, I will show this video to everyone.

KYKY: It turns out that it’s easier for you to live “under the supervision” of the camera? How many hours a day do you film yourself?

N.P.: A total of five hours, but as far as circumstances allow. She is always there. And as soon as any "dangerous" thought appears, I begin to communicate with this camera. I feel that by helping myself, I can help others. It gets easier.

KYKY: Easier, like after vomiting? How do you feel after you cleanse your stomach?

N.P.: Self-hatred, guilt, weakness, sometimes breaking starts right away - I'm shaking all over. I can’t find another word for it, it’s a natural breakdown: I just really want to stuff something else into myself - no matter what. It can even be raw dough. I don't care what kind of food it is. Yes, absolutely. In this state, I eat everything, not just sweets.

KYKY: What is your minimum weight?

N.P.: The minimum weight that I had was 47 kg.

KYKY: Are you doing all this to be beautiful?

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N.P.: I don’t know what “beauty” is, this concept is blurry for me. I want to be fit, sexy, slim. It's important for me. For today I am so dissatisfied with myself ... The weight still has great importance, but in fact I am very afraid to weigh myself, I am afraid that this will provoke a breakdown. I dream of being healthy! I want to be a normal person. I'm so sick of it all, if you knew, I slowed down a lot on my life path because of this disease. I dream of becoming a happy full-fledged person. I like all those skinny girls on Instagram, it's hard to name anyone in particular… My ideal? Well, maybe Kim from 9 and a Half Weeks. She is perfect.

If you recognize yourself or someone close to you in Natasha's story, read the text to the end. Anorexia and bulimia are serious eating disorders, and if something like this is happening to you, you need help. Despite the video on the net that being thin is fashionable, it really is far from fun.

“They love not for beauty or pumped up ass. That's what things are valued for." Psychologist's comment

Marina Kachanovich, psychologist, gestalt therapist:“First and foremost, eating disorders are a disease. There is no fault of the person who suffers from RPP. No one chooses this path for themselves, no one can be responsible for the formation of this disorder in the subcortical structures of the brain that we do not control. The confluence of many factors leads to the formation and consolidation of repetitive patterns of perception and behavior at the level of neural networks. Genetic predisposition, features of the functioning of the hormonal system, upbringing, cultural characteristics of the environment, fashion.

The first step in solving the problems of eating disorders is to seek help from a non-medical psychotherapist (you can connect a psychotherapist, a nutritionist). Therapy is the foundation, because eating disorders are not about food at all. Like other addictions, it is an attempt by the psyche to cope with traumatic experiences. The body becomes a projection of internal conflicts, pain, rejection, dislike. The formula "pull yourself together, where is your willpower?" does not work here, but harms. All this is not about strength and not about will. Scolding yourself, blaming and shaming yourself does not help. People with food addictions there is always a lack of acceptance and love, not kicks and criticism.

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RPP existed before, but they suffered disproportionately less people, than now. There is a mental disorder - dysmorphophobia - an experience due to a real or imagined lack of one's body. An overvalued idea, and others may not consider this feature worthy of attention.

Such a disorder was previously considered a serious pathological condition. No one cut themselves at plastic surgeons, did not torture themselves with diets for the sake of beauty. It all became the norm only in the 20th century.

Since the 60s, thinness has become fashionable, although it is a physiological norm for only a very small number of people. It is believed that the increase in cases of eating disorders is mainly due to modern standards of fashion and beauty. Thinness, childishness, adolescence as the ideal of femininity and sexuality are doing their job. Only the body of a teenager can meet the current fashion standards.

When you live in such an environment, it is very difficult to love and accept yourself as you are. It even seems strange, and for a frivolous attitude towards your body, you can be condemned or criticized. Often relatives make such a “gift”: “no one likes fat ones”, “girls shouldn’t eat so much”, “darling, it’s better to hide such a belly”, “how, don’t you go to the gym?” and so on. Another feature of this trend is the equating of beauty with health. A well-groomed thin body is perceived as healthy, although girls suffering from anorexia do not have menstruation, but there are serious hormonal disruptions. Everything that is connected with fat or cellulite (the physiological norm for women) is now perceived by us as weakness, lack of will and illness.

The reasons include the old as the world attitude towards a woman as an object. While women have made significant progress in the fight for equality with men over the past hundred years, this path is far from being traveled to the end. The female body is still mass consciousness perceived as a commodity. And a woman must meet a number of criteria in order to be in demand among men: to be sweet, gentle, a little naive, but smart and well-read, love sex, but be modest, be slim but healthy, be able to bear children, but not have cellulite, be wise but young and so on. And accordingly, your body should also be a "quality product."

About this theme: “In depression, I knew hell from the inside, and in mania, I fell in love.” Three wild monologues of patients with bipolar disorder

Not everyone suffers from eating disorders, although we live in the same society. Don't think about now appearance of your body is a kind of challenge to society. We are all involved in this in one way or another. But not everyone really gets sick. There are a number of factors that influence the choice of a particular symptom by the psyche (genetics, upbringing), someone drinks, someone gets depressed. The bottom line is one thing - internal pain and unhealed injuries.

If a person did not have acceptance and support during his growing up, his inner attitude towards himself will be the same. Critical, rejecting, condemning, shaming. In the case of RPP, the body becomes a projection for this relationship. Those. all RPP is about inner deep rejection not even of one's body, but of oneself. The impossibility of treating yourself well, accepting, forgiving, caring, loving. "How can you love THIS?" - internal question full of pain and disgust. It's always sad and scary. I would like to ask: “Who treated you like that, dear, who didn’t accept you like that, who all the time wanted you to meet some expectations, to be not yourself, but someone else?”

I repeat this word all the time - "acceptance". This is one of the basic needs, remember, in Maslow's pyramid - the third from the bottom. Satisfying this need is important for everyone, and especially for children. They need to know that they are loved by anyone and always, and not just for the five, success in sports or good behavior. And when you are already an adult, you deserve love not because you are the right product in a beautiful wrapper. Love is not about the fact that you are certain. Love is not for achievements, beauty or pumped up ass. For this, things are valued. And people love because they love. And that's it."