I have bulimia. case from practice

Hello.
I don't know where to start. Basically, I really want to die. Without exaggeration, I do not prevaricate.
I have bulimia. Before that, there was anorexia, then compulsive overeating, now here it is. I've been living in hell for three years now.
I hate myself, I want to trample, destroy! I'm disgusted that I'm so weak, I can't contain myself. I overeat and then I eat a laxative, I play sports until I cough up blood, just so as not to get better.
Mom knows everything. Each time she promises to help and figure out what to do, give advice, but she never helped. He only scolds and each time arranges a scolding for taking laxatives. And I start to hate myself even more.
I don’t overeat for three days at most, I eat a little and still I torture myself with a hated sport and freak out that I’m fat and getting fat from any piece of food. Then I break down and eat. And half a pack of a weakling - hello!
They can’t stand it and open up to my mother - she swears and yells, and I hold on for three days and everything is new.
It really relaxes me that everyone says that I'm insanely, painfully thin, it's just adjusting the gluttony. I don’t know how much I weigh now, my mother threw the scales away.
Basically, I can't live like this anymore. I can’t hate myself anymore, be afraid of food, my own body, I can’t force myself through pain and go in for sports - I can’t, I can’t, I can’t!
No strength. I hate every day in this damn world
I pray for death every day, and it's all the same that it's a sin
By the way. I've been to a bunch of different psychotherapists, after each it got worse. No intelligent specialists we have. All this is nonsense, they only say “eat, Masha, eat”, “don’t go in for sports” and “it’s not scary to get fat, you’ll be beautiful” they help a lot, I immediately stop seeing fat in the mirror Chuuuuush!

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M., age: 21/23.06.2013

Responses:

I think you still need to find a good specialist. There is a neurotic disorder. And it is necessary to be treated, first of all, from fear. You are very afraid to get better, so torment yourself with sports and laxatives. Then regression sets in, fear lets go a little - you overeat. This provokes a new panic attack, and so on in a circle.
Talk to a nutritionist, perhaps he will influence you better than a psychotherapist. The most important thing for you now is to recognize the fact that the problem is not in the amount of food eaten, but in the nerves. The body is all right, all hell is in the head. And when it becomes obvious, you yourself will find solutions.

Vera, age: 36 / 06/24/2013

You are waiting for support from your mother, and she is nervous because she does not know how to help you. You are nervous because you do not receive support from your mother. And so in a vicious circle.
You need to turn to God and ask for His help to resist temptations:
- overeating, as gluttony is a sin,
- to repent of idolatry, since you have made an idol out of your body (figure, weight). And any idolatry leads to mental anguish.
As soon as you feel that you start to overeat, or the fear of gaining weight attacks, or you want to drink a laxative, immediately pray, read the Our Father and the 90th psalm, and you can read other psalms all in a row, but the 90th is better every day, read amazing stories about this psalm on the Internet.
May God give you wisdom and strength to overcome everything, to resist.

Alina, age: 42 / 06/25/2013

Mash, no one can help you until you yourself set a goal to accept yourself, allow yourself to have fat and think not about it, but about loved ones, about study and work.
There must be at least 15 percent fat in the human body, otherwise the vital functions of the body are violated. Hormonal metabolism, metabolism, menstruation
stop - infertility sets in, and mental deviations are possible. Better to be fat than sick, barren and hysterical.
You look in the mirror - all this to yourself and tell. And it turns out that the specialists are stupid, and you are so reasonable ... Against your will, you
no one can put their head in anything, dear. You must reflect and try to accept the words of people who are trying to help you. Enemies of them are not
need to do. They tell you the pure truth, which you do not want to accept. Want to believe - and believe over time.
And start to feel sorry for your mother, and not demand from her what she cannot. Yelling - it means the nerves are already handing over, dear. Mothers, they are also not made of iron, they are alive.
For the sake of peace of mind of a loved one, for the sake of this alone, one can finally endure fat on one's body.
You can’t rush about with your beauty when there are more important things: work, study, household chores, reading, communication with loved ones, etc. It’s impossible, and to no avail:
beauty - it is in the brilliance of loving eyes and nowhere else is it.
How beautiful every pregnant woman is! The eyes are changing. What a flawed person you have to be to say: pregnancy spoils firuga, beauty ...
Let's not be mean! Let's try to be normal. Let's fight not with ourselves and with the world, but with our "cockroaches", which everyone has
there will be a decent amount.

Elena Ordinary, age: 37 / 06/26/2013

Masha dear Masha, there is no need to go to anyone, all our illnesses are from our fears and from the fact that we do not love ourselves and scold ourselves. Love yourself and forgive yourself for everything that can torment your soul. Love yourself and your body, smile at yourself and believe and trust yourself! You can do anything, you just need to believe in yourself, in each of us there is a piece of God, our soul, it can suffer and get sick! Dear Masha, smile at yourself and others, life will change, listen to your heart, your soul lives in it, it will not deceive you, no one will help you, only you, but for this you need a great desire and most importantly FORGIVE YOURSELF. Good luck, love yourself, enjoy life! Everything that happens to us is given to learn a lesson and a rational grain, to teach us something.

Dina, age: 40 / 03/15/2014

anonymously

Hello, my name is Katya and I am 17 years old. At the age of 15, I decided to lose weight. I wasn't fat or fat, no. At 17, I look like 14 years old, and at 15 I was still a completely unformed child. I weighed 53 kg with a height of 160. I decided to lose weight correctly. Then I didn’t know about diets, I just decided not to eat junk food, starchy foods, sweets, fatty foods and limit carbohydrates. I did not follow the weight and did not chase to lose 10 kg in a week. Started losing weight in the spring. Already in September, my weight was 38 kg. I did not suffer from anorexia, because I allowed myself goodies, only a little, I ate 3 times a day, I ate according to the principle proper nutrition(fruits, vegetables, buckwheat, various cereals, meat) and went in for sports. I was happy and everyone admired me. I didn't want to lose weight anymore, I liked myself. At that time, I was already 16. Now I live in complete hell. I got bulimic. As if there was some kind of click and hop, my brain began to act against me. I do not know what it is connected with. I understand with my mind, with my body, that I am not hungry, that I have eaten too much, but I will not stop until I eat everything. I don't vomit as often as many bulimics. I am very afraid of vomiting, because. I already have gastritis and pancreatitis. But fear, a terrible state and a complete belly, which makes it impossible to move, make me do it. It used to happen once a month, then it became more frequent. Now, on average, I induce vomiting 2-3 r. in Week. I have recovered and weigh 48. The clothes have become small. I hate myself. I'm sitting at home, I've lost my friends, I've become nervous, I'm lashing out at my parents. I do not want anything. I am so tired after a year of this illness that I just want to die. I don't want to live, I'm tired. I tried to fight, I fight every day, but there is no strength. I drank blood pressure - fluoxetine, advised at the pharmacy Pila goldline, which helps to curb appetite. It is useless. I tried to control, it lasts me a maximum of 3 days. I told my parents, showed articles about this disease. They say that it is a matter of willpower, that she must pull herself together. They don't understand how you can't control how much you eat. I love my parents very much, just like they love me. They themselves are sick and elderly and live only for me. The only thing that stops me from not swallowing pills is they. I don't know how to live with this anymore. Find a psychologist? Is it possible in small town find a real psychologist who can understand this problem? Is there any way to solve this problem without it? I want to become healthy, I want to live a normal life, not obsess over food and not overeat ....

Katya, hello, tell us a little more about the circumstances of your life, when did you switch from food asceticism to excesses? What did you do - what kind of relationship were you in - how did your life affect you then? And what is wrong with your parents? Are you the only child in the family?

anonymously

Yes, being busy during the day, in my opinion, is a good thing, otherwise when you are at home, then the refrigerator is here, very close .. Or maybe you can get a job in some summer camp counselor for example? There must be absolutely meager food there, and children - they take a lot of attention and strength, while it’s cool to communicate with them in my opinion ... Maybe you will be distracted from your feeling of loneliness and some kind of abandonment or something ... And do you study somewhere? and HERE IS ABOUT YOUR FIGHT IDEA. Maybe well, her fight? Maybe something simpler, so every day they woke up, stretched, said "God, give me strength and strengthen my will to live today without diving into food-food", and see what is very small, but bringing pleasure you can do for yourself EXACTLY TODAY do to feel a little better? It seems to me that summer itself is a resource time, you can move more, go out into the air, admire the greenery, go to the water, breathe ...

During the day, it is quite easy to overcome the craving for food and avoid breakdowns. Work, employment, meetings, communication. And some with bulimia tend not to eat anything at all during the day on purpose in order to lose weight. Absolutely in vain. Neither the body nor the psyche will be deceived. But closer to the cover of the night how dark forces inhabit us and we are ruled by demons. Like the devil by the hand leads to the refrigerator and nothing can be done about it.
It is not natural for me to believe in anything demonic, because have faith in yourself. So I do this:
The day starts in the morning. As you set the tone, so the day will pass. Smile. Stretch your face in a smile, and then with all available cosmetics, in order to once again confirm the fact that “How good I am!” I will not stand at the mirror and consider swelling and circles under the eyes. Natural night puffiness will disappear in half an hour. The main task for every morning is a positive energy charge. Find 15 - 25 min. in order to adjust the sound of your soul and thoughts is possible and necessary. We are in a hurry and, not realizing what thoughts drive us, we start a day that, for unknown reasons, ends in a breakdown. Perhaps, already in the morning, irritability and dissatisfaction with our lives crept into us. The situation affects. Yes. But the inner tuning fork is stronger. If the soul sings, we can ignore everyday stimuli. That's what these 15 minutes are for. and relax your body on a flat surface, indulging in your evenly flowing thoughts and the moment of awakening a new day. Dream about something, feel the beauty of your body - individual, only your beauty! Tell yourself the words that you would like to hear from a dear person. Praise yourself even for those 15 minutes. time for yourself and listen to the answer of your heart. The way the world will freeze for these 15 minutes.
Next BREAKFAST. Delicious, favorite, enjoyable breakfast. I do not adhere to the principles of nutrition only with positive energy charges. Breakfast with enjoyment and without the forced parsley salad.
And everything is according to plan: what to wear? where to be in time? who to meet? etc.
During the day, you need to maintain a balance in accordance with the areas of energy distribution. (See the article on the site "Bulimic Relapse. Before and After. (continued)") A skew in either direction provides fertile ground for a relapse. If you are immersed in activities with a huge poster "I will achieve victories at any cost!" and there is no time to exchange a few words with a friend and enjoy a new acquaintance, then wait for the evening. It might work out, or it might not. But if you also neglect the most important procedure for preventing a breakdown - LUNCH, then evening breakdowns are your norm. And who knows, maybe it's more convenient. Looks like the shape is saved. True, not for long. But who thinks about it when you want a lot and tasty? After dinner, you will already half this feeling of obsession. And you improve your metabolism by the fact that digestion is a mechanism that requires uniformity, not extremes. Hungry cell will make itself felt - how? Yes, like any hungry living creature - gluttony. About stock.
Evening. Yes, you wait 30 minutes at the start to eat! You are at home. And then there's the calm energy. She needs to be supported. With your own calmness, which you can also work on. Sweeter than a relaxing bath at home can only be the touch of a loved one. But if he is still on his way, then move everything around you, throw aside the reports you captured for the night from work - everything will wait. Time for yourself is the most valuable time. This is also your investment, which will give results in the form of a healthy and beautiful body for more than one year.
I am also not shy about such simple methods as listening to good calm music, chatting with the children about how their day went, calling my mother and all that ordinary, family, peace and serenity.
DINNER. There is nothing terrible in it. Everything that I wanted was cooked, beautifully served, slowly and with pleasure entered the body for the benefit of my tireless energy. Not in front of the TV. After all, everyone already knows that there is always a hunt for telecom. Why tease the Force? Now you need to find something to do. And then we look around: unwashed dishes, scattered things, dirty shoes, toys all over the apartment, and all the same reports - how tired! Before going to sleep, you have plenty of time for this. You will also have time to lie down in front of the TV with a cup of tea. Even if an obsessive thought comes about “how much and tasty is left after dinner”, it also lies and does not give rest - accept this thought for 25 minutes of your heroic patience and it will be exhausted. Have you ever endured 25 minutes before a breakdown? For as long as I can remember being bulimic, I haven't done that. Here is the answer. Might be worth a try?
How everything difficult and terrible becomes simple and acceptable if you properly distribute energy and do simple, unpretentious things every day.

No one will do anything for you or for you. Psychotherapy allows you to acquire the most valuable thing - the keys to independent work on yourself and solving any problems. Good luck and health to you girls!
from bulimia stop ru

Diana: Yes, exactly. I have had bulimia for several years. And that was my secret. This disease can be exacerbated by the fact that you have a depressed mood and you feel that you are simply not good for anything. You eat four or five times a day or more and this gives you a feeling of comfort .It's like having a pair of hands, but it's only temporary - only when your stomach is full. And this has to be repeated again. And by repeating this over and over you are destroying yourself.

Question: And how many times did you have to eat a lot in a day?

Diana: Depending on my state of mind. If I had a day of visits or I was visiting another city for the whole day, then upon returning home I felt empty, because my duties included meeting people who were dying, terminally ill people, and who had marital problems, and when I got home and I had no idea how I could calm down, after I had to calm down so many people that I had to regularly eat until I lost my pulse. And it had a huge impact on my married life. I was just torn from the inside from the fact that I needed help, but others simply did not understand this and used my illness as an excuse to decide that the problem was that Diana was mentally unstable.

Question: Instead of understanding the reason?

Diana: Yes, of course.

Question: But did you manage to pull yourself together when you just wanted to tear and throw?

Diana: Yes, you can say that I managed to pull myself together, and that was my salvation then.

Question: Have you tried to get help from other members of the royal family?

Diana: No. When you know that you have bulimia, you are very ashamed of it and hate yourself, because others simply think that you eat a lot - and you do not want to discuss it with others at all. The fact is that with bulimia you never get fat, it is with anorexia that weight is quickly gained. And you can just pretend that you're okay. And no one will ever guess about it.

Q: When you say that people thought you were just binge eating, did anyone hint to you about this?

Diana: Yes, of course, several times.

Question: And what did they tell you?

Diana: It was like this: "I'm guessing you eat a lot - so what does that mean?" And it hurt me a lot. But I continued to eat, because only in this way did relief come to me.

Question: How long have you had bulimia?

Diana: Long, very long. But now I'm fine.

Question: Two years, three years?

Diana: Mmm... A little more time.

Details on the official website.

Bulimia. I have BULIMIA. Some years. Was. And I didn't even think about it. Maybe she hasn't passed yet?

So what if I could eat an ENTIRE POT of borsch at one time, adding vinegar and a few tablespoons of sugar to it? And, if there was okroshka, then the ENTIRE pan for some half an hour was already in me (with vinegar and sugar). I still cannot eat a simple soup - even in a cafe (restaurant) I asked to put sugar in my soup.

For many years I alternately suffered from anorexia (fear of food), then unconsciously threw in myself a weekly diet of a normal person in 1 hour. I ate, then drank a laxative, then ate again, then got on the scales and drank a laxative again. It seemed normal.

My mood depended on how much I ate. If it was too much, then I was very angry with myself and began to cry and gnaw at myself for not fitting into new trousers. Then I made a vow to myself that I would never eat THAT MUCH again. That tomorrow I will “sit down” on a healthy lifestyle, and therefore today we should celebrate it for the last time: a pack of dumplings with mayonnaise and white bread, a healthy pizza with cheese, five sandwiches, french fries, 2 cheeseburgers and 2 cocktails (previously bought in Makda ), cutlets with ketchup, pasta with butter, pancakes fried with sour cream, marshmallows, 3 to 5 chocolates, chocolates, chips, seeds, two 2 liters of forfeits, and a kilogram of ice cream with caramel.

These "seeing-offs" of the old way of life were repeated every day! Moreover, I diligently prepared for a trip to the store and, most interestingly, I believed that THIS was the last time. So, I bought all this and ... locked myself in my apartment. I turned off the phone, running away from problems and any communication. And ate like a pig!!! And then she cried. My stomach is swollen with pain, but I still ate. He was sick again, and after waiting half an hour, I again went to the remaining products. And ate.

None of my friends would have guessed that this one is quite slender (175 cm, the average is 68-70 kg) and works in great company a young woman who is now sitting in a cafe and so royally sedately absorbs a dietary salad, when she comes home ... she will start EATING everything in a row, and fatty drops of oil from pancakes or mayonnaise from dumplings will flow from her mouth.

Oh, yes, I was on diets and on hunger and even more often read about all this in eDiet.ru, but after another article about bulimia, I did not find “my” signs. Those. I didn't vomit myself. Although it happened a couple of times, but then I realized that it was so disgusting, and a laxative is better, although the effect is weaker than with vomiting.

From time to time I had “enlightenments” - either with Thai pills, then with Xenical, then with something else, and I seemed to be able to control my appetite. But, after I went to work and lost 10 kg at work, simply because I didn’t eat because of employment, and then vice versa, I began to “revenge” everything. I began to think ... and delve into myself. Why do I eat so much?

My husband helped. We've been together recently. One evening, while surfing the internet, I went to Diana's website and read her interview. And then she cried, realizing that I have the same thing. That I can't change circumstances - we need money! Although my husband asks me to stay at home (he has a decent salary, phu, phu, phu, so as not to jinx it), until I come to my senses. I need to go to work. The team is excellent (very rare)!!! But the work - only nerves !!! Every day is stressful! I attack everyone like a vicious dog. And then there are these childhood memories (Uncle Fisher, if you remember him), the suicide attempt at 21, and the rape at 22.

In general, here is such a bouquet. So, wait, I DO NOT COMPLAINT AND I DO NOT MOAN! I'm strong. Now I'm fighting for myself. I'm starting to love myself, if only for myself.

Now I have to take fluoxetine! Only he removes cravings for exorbitant food and improves mood. It is indicated for bulimia nervosa.

Bulimia - wolf hunger. Here are the things.

WITH THIS ARTICLE, I VERY ASK TO HELP ME THOSE WHO HAVE GONE FROM THE STATE OF ETERNAL HUNGER AND TEARS! I'M BEGGING! HELP!

I'm 26 and I want happy life. I went to psychologists - this annual winding of nerves with stories does not lead to anything. I do better on my own. Only now I am very afraid of getting used to antidepressants. Although fluoxetine is directed at the center of the brain responsible for saturation, I am still afraid that later I won’t be able to do without pills at all! And if you quit your job, then I will kill myself for what I could have, but did not achieve. Especially since I'm moving towards my goal.