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Why is a person not interested in anything in life. Why is a person not interested in anything in life? How to help, what to do? What to do if nothing interests

A stamp in your passport or the presence of a permanent relationship is not at all a guarantee that you will be happy. Why do women feel unhappy, even if there is a loved one next to them?

You chose the wrong person

Often women, striving to get married at any cost, connect their lives with the first one who proposes. He may turn out a good man but, if this is not your destiny, you will not feel happy next to him. Look for your person.

You don't know how to work on relationships

Relationships are not things that will work on their own. They require the investment of mental and emotional strength, the ability to compromise, to feel the needs and desires of your partner. Egoists who think only of themselves are rarely able to find personal happiness.

you are in love with another person

This happens, and quite often. You are too carried away by someone else and you can no longer enjoy the relationship that you are in. This leads to the fact that any moment in the behavior of a partner leads to an aggressive reaction on your part, because you compare him with another man, and the comparison usually turns out to be not in your favor.

You and your partner have different worldviews

You love him very much, but he looks at the world in a completely different way from you. This can be expressed in different ways - for example, you are a homebody and prefer to spend time in the company of your loved one, and he is a party star and loves to be in the spotlight. Finding a compromise in this case is difficult, and some of you feel very unhappy.

You really want children, but your man does not want

Different views on the need for procreation can become a serious stumbling block. It's one thing if he's just not ready for children yet. It is quite another thing if a man is absolutely sure that he is not going to have babies at all. Or vice versa - when a man persuades you to give birth to a child, and you do not want to become a mother at all.

Do you have problems with sex?

Sex is a very important part of a relationship, and if you feel unsatisfied, it's hard for you to feel true happiness. Both abstinence (if a man for some reason does not want you) and the lack of orgasm in the presence of sex can lead to this problem.

You don't get enough attention

A woman really needs to feel loved and desired. If a woman does not receive this, she feels unhappy and dissatisfied with her own relationship.

Your man is aggressive and puts you down

Living with a domestic tyrant means voluntarily dooming yourself to an unhappy relationship. Such a man thinks only of himself, and your thoughts and desires do not care about him at all.

You have a problematic relationship

This happens if the spouse abuses alcohol, drugs. Another option is if a man does not want to do anything at all, and you pull him on yourself. The only way out of this situation is to pull yourself together and run.

PHOTO Getty Images

Throughout our lives, most of us ask ourselves the question, “Who am I?” from time to time. "What is my path?" But, perhaps, these questions concern us most acutely in our youth. Since adolescence, we are constantly building our personal and social identity. But it is in youth that we face the need to finally separate from the parental family, choose a profession, create a system of values (however, this process continues longer), accept our femininity / masculinity ... The young person is faced with the task of summarizing everything that he (she) knows about yourself, about different sides of your "I", comprehend this and build your ideas into the picture of the desired future. If a young person successfully copes with this task - psychosocial identification - then he will have a sense of who he is, where he is and where he is going. For the successful passage of this period, trust, independence, skill, which the child, and then the teenager acquires in his parental family, are important.

But no matter how prepared a teenager is for the transition to adulthood, very often this period is accompanied by anxiety, distrust and self-doubt. Boys and girls often have doubts about their physical attractiveness, masculinity or femininity, intelligence, leadership qualities ... On the one hand, such doubts can cause negative experiences - sadness, irritation, and even shame and guilt, but on the other hand, they encourage young people intense search for your "I", to know yourself, to experiment with your image, with skills and abilities, with relationships.
Thanks to these searches, young people find new models of behavior and communication, in addition to those they receive in the parental family. Perhaps much more efficient.
Of course, humanity has gone through youthful identification crises for thousands of years, relying on traditions, on the history of the family, on its own strengths, on the values of society. But in our lives, each of us is a pioneer. Each person opens the door of his native home and finds himself on the threshold of a great life. And, quite naturally, everyone experiences excitement and anxiety at the same time. There are many questions. How will this one take me? Big world, after all, my experience, limited to the framework of the family and school, is still insufficient? ..

The attitude of parents to their growing up, the rules and attitudes of the parental family, as well as the parents' idea of the role of women and men in society have a great influence on the self-perception of girls at this time. Very often, when the youth of parents fell on difficult, critical years, they had no time for crises, all forces were directed to survival. It is sometimes difficult for children of such parents to get support and understanding from them, and then the crisis drags on. It also happens that a girl or a boy plays the role of a stabilizer in the family system - that is, their problems (psychological or health problems) keep their parents together. Then the youthful crisis also drags on and the young person cannot separate from the parental family for a long time, become psychologically mature and independent. In this case, it is worth contacting a family psychologist.

How can girls survive (with minimal negative consequences) an identity crisis?

Talk to your family, especially your mother, grandmother, older sisters or other kind and close women about how they went through a similar period, what they experienced. Such a conversation helps to understand that our problems deserve attention and that they are solvable.
Take your time. The fruit does not ripen before the term. It takes time to accept your new roles, including that of a mature woman.
Experiment with your appearance- try to change the image - clothes, makeup, hairstyles, and at the same time listen to internal sensations, not forgetting about the external effect.
Work on increasing your self-confidence - because this confidence comes with time - with the things done and new useful skills.
Pay attention to those aspects of life and skills in which you feel competent. You can even leave a list of your achievements and virtues - this will help you feel confident in yourself.
Celebrate your even smallest successes and the feelings that these events evoke in you. You can even start a special diary for this.
Associating more often with those who are kind to you and share your values - this also helps to maintain self-confidence.

Of course, this algorithm can be used not only by girls, but also by boys. Good luck to you! And remember that every new day gives us the opportunity to change something in our lives.

Question to the psychologist:

Hello. 29 years, of which five years married. I realized that I don’t feel like a “woman”, and I don’t understand this feeling at all. I have no desire to have children, take care of the house or comfort. I do almost no laundry or cooking, I come home after my husband, and he cooks and often loads the laundry himself. He wasn't very happy, but...

I just don't know how to change myself. It's normal for me to "hoard" dirty clothes and send them to the launderer once a week. I observe personal hygiene.

We don't have children (He often talks about responsibility and care, that he "still can't handle a child"). It hurts me (like I don’t want a child, but hearing that I would be a bad mother upsets me). But I kind of understand it, to be honest. We both work. I also want a cozy and clean house .. only it’s not interesting for me to do it myself and it seems like a waste of time.

It would probably be better if I chose a more "feminine" man, or something, homely and soft, but I am only attracted to "super" masculine men. Sometimes such strange thoughts flash that I am gay in a female body. I am not categorically attracted to women, but I often feel romantic interest from women, including straight women.

My husband and I are fine in bed. At first, of course, there was delight, then the stage of experiments, and now everything is somehow even, which seems to suit both.

I understand that my question came out fuzzy .. Is it necessary, is it worth somehow teaching yourself to feel like a woman and how? Or maybe I'm just lazy? Or I need to be treated. I'm here rather asking for an analysis of the personality, probably, and what should I do next with this personality. Thank you for your attention.

The psychologist Yulia Vasilievna Pizhevskaya answers the question.

Good day! Your question is undoubtedly very interesting and topical. How many women are already moving away from imaginary "women's duties." But society, despite the new statistics, does not accept the readiness to give birth to children, the readiness to take care of someone else besides themselves. But we all, as full-fledged members of this society, have every right to our opinion and make our own decisions. One category of people is obsessed with comfort, family affairs and household chores. But you are not from this category, then you should not classify yourself as one “who needs to be treated.” To feel like a happy woman, it is absolutely not necessary to have a passion for washing and cleaning. You need to feel love for yourself and not about self-love. Now the women of our society have the opportunity to realize themselves not only as a mother and keeper of the hearth. Women have the opportunity to realize their potential, to build a career. Now women can compete with men. The thought planted in little girls is flourishing, to be responsible for oneself, to be able to provide for oneself, not to depend on anyone. A child is a responsibility, responsibility not only for himself. It is not enough just to give birth to a child, it must be brought up and supported throughout life, to help adapt to society. This takes time and effort, perhaps realizing this, you think that on this stage not ready to take responsibility for another person. It is also possible that there is no confidence in the support and help of your spouse. What is it from? Perhaps there were precedents that, on a subconscious level, do not allow the maternal instinct to settle in your mind. Then, you need to figure out whether you would like changes or the way life is built now suits you perfectly. If you still choose to change, then they are not possible without joint efforts, joint work, you need a frank conversation with your spouse, in which you could talk about your fears and concerns, enlist his support, stock up on confidence. Perhaps this question comes from childhood. And you have to answer it honestly to yourself. Did you have enough care and attention from your parents? If you felt that you did not receive something, then subconsciously there may be a fear of the unborn child that you will also not be able to give him everything he needs. If you immerse yourself in your memories, you can remember all the events that seemed wrong to you, that disturb you, but not in order to put a block, but in order to correct and rewrite the script for your own life, for your own perception. This is a matter of working on yourself, working on mistakes, working on fears. You and only you decide what kind of family your family will be, what kind of hostess to be, what kind of life to lead, how soon it becomes or does not become a mother at all. You yourself are the blacksmith of your life, of course, it is worth listening to advice, but draw your own conclusions and make your own decisions.

/ There is no purpose in life, nothing interests you?

No purpose in life, nothing interests

Do you feel that nothing pleases you for a long time, nothing gives you enthusiasm and anticipation? Have plans, desires, interests and all aspirations disappeared from your life somewhere? And even thoughts of death do not cause noticeable resistance, or are they accompanied by relief?
It is very likely that you have a sluggish depression, which does not cause strong emotional outbursts, but methodically undermines and destroys your psyche, bringing old age and death closer. This means that for quite a long time your life did not give you pleasure, and your classes were not interesting and labored out because it was “needed” or because you don’t know how to do anything else, but you need money.

In order to get out of this state, you need to start building a life that you would like, bring pleasure and develop. This cannot be achieved in one fell swoop, it will not be possible to wake up one fine day already changed and happy man. If there is no goal in life, and nothing interests you, you need to start looking for and writing out even the smallest, but joyful desires. Such desires that are accompanied by anticipation, a feeling of joy at the thought that you will do it. These desires can be very small, for example, jump on the spot, take off and run 20 meters, lie in bed in the morning as much as you want. Accumulating the experience of realizing such desires, you will begin to better understand yourself, and to distinguish what you want.

Perhaps at one time your real desires were suppressed because they were "wrong", did not correspond to your idea or your relatives' idea of what kind of person you need to be. Perhaps you are not studying where you would like, you hate your job and daily “necessary” duties, and you think that you cannot live otherwise..

On this site you will find very detailed and simple instructions for changing your whole life in the direction you want.

With all the variety of opportunities that life offers, some people find themselves in a kind of impasse. They are not interested in anything. They just don't care about life. How to act in such a situation? Is it possible to recognize the onset of such a state in another person? Can you help him? And, most importantly, is it worth doing it at all? What lies behind such apathy? What is the algorithm of actions, if nothing interests you?

Why is life becoming uninteresting?

The reasons for such thoughts, in fact, are not so many. They can be conditionally combined into two groups: external and internal. They all come down to human psychology. Either something was missing from him, and he lost the goal in front of his eyes, or he simply lost interest in what is available.

In the first case we are talking about the absence of the factor that caused . Maybe it's some kind of work or even another person. For example, someone cannot imagine himself without the surf and surfing, but due to circumstances he finds himself in a desert area. He is no longer interested in life.

Enthusiasm is a complex physiological process that is associated with the release of “happiness” hormones (endorphins and serotonin) into the blood. If they cease to be produced in response to something or someone, then, accordingly, we lose interest in him. In this case, it is important to restart the process of synthesis of such hormones, because without them, depression occurs very quickly in the body.

How to understand that a person is not interested in anything?

Loss of interest in life has a clear outward manifestation. Such a person withdraws into himself, shows much less social activity. He can sit at home for several days, or, if he finds himself among people, he will be reluctant to make contact. One of the signs that someone is not interested in living is his paucity, especially positive ones. A dull depressive mood becomes calling card such people.

There are also cases when someone, on the contrary, demonstrates that everything is fine with him. He does it for show. In fact, he is not interested in anything. Here to pay attention that something is wrong, they can only enough knowledgeable people who will still notice the change.

One of the common signs and can be considered excessive consumption of alcohol, or even drugs. After all, our physiology needs the production of “happiness” hormones. Not receiving them, a person tries to compensate for this at least due to a drunken state.

What if you are not interested in anything?

The reasons why nothing is of interest, found out. Now let's see how to overcome this. Simple and effective tips:

Reconsider life, analyze what is missing in it;
To understand whether it is possible to possess it, if not, then look for a replacement;
Find, and for this, learn more about various types activities;
Travel more often or just change the scenery from time to time;
Do not withdraw into yourself, communicate more with other people, learn something new about them and their hobbies;
Remember what aroused interest in childhood, perhaps revive those moments;
To be in nature, unity with which can cheer up even dull people;
Go in for sports or active recreation;
Read books, especially inspiring stories of great people;
Eat right, eat foods that promote the production of happiness hormones (nuts, bananas, chocolate, fruits and greens).

These techniques are true friends of those who are not interested in anything. If you try them all, then it will be much easier to achieve success. It is important to start the mechanism of returning to active life. This is the most important step on which the effectiveness of the entire mission will depend. It is very good when relatives who sincerely want to help contribute to this. After all, if you are not interested in anything, then, accordingly, you will not want to be interested in something. Most often, a stimulating factor from the outside is needed. Friends, family or employees at work.

There are various motivating videos on YouTube, watching which can also raise the tone of a person who is not interested in life.

Pleasant music also has a good therapeutic effect. Its importance is difficult to overestimate. After all, thanks to the vibrations generated by musical instruments, the strings of the soul that have died down can also sound. Smells have a similar effect. Significantly increases communication with "our smaller brothers", watching humorous programs or going to a concert.

If a person is not interested in anything, the main thing is to bring him out of a state of stupor. Any activity helps to get rid of negative thoughts, switch to something else. And the surge of “happiness” hormones only speeds up this process. And it is necessary to act according to the principle “if you don’t know how, we will teach you, if you don’t want to, we will force you.” There is not a minute to lose time, because the longer someone catches himself thinking that he is not interested in living, the more effort will have to be spent on his return to normal life.